Lazy girl running

Running jargon explained (part one)

2012-02-13T12:00:00.000Z

DOMS noun abrivition of Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness, the phenomena where your muscles ache more the second day after exercise than they did the morning after. Can sometimes be used to refer to Delayed Onset Munchies Syndrome, but I think that's just me.

Chicked verb for a man to be defeated or overtaken in a foot race by a woman.
Quite a few men have a problem with getting 'chicked'. There might even be a support group out there where they get together and share their experiences. "So I was feeling really strong and coming into the home straight on for a PB when it happened. I feel so ashamed." Guys get over it. In the interest of equality though I've now invented the next term.

Duded verb for a woman to be defeated or overtaken in a foot race by a man.
This word shouldn't be confused with the meaning of the next term...

Gingerbread man verb to be caught short while out on a run leading one to have to make like a bear and shit in the woods. This term was brought into common usage by Tony Audenshaw in his Tony's Trials monologues on the Marathon Talk podcast.

Awesome noun the collective term for three PBs over three seperate distances within a six-week period. I invented this term. It's yet to catch on. I'll keep trying.

Five reasosn to run today

2012-02-06T08:30:00.000Z

Struggling to motivate yourself to run today, here's five very good reasons that you should stop fighting it and go for a run.

ONE
You won't have to run tomorrow. Think how pleased with you your future self will be. Don't you want to be that person tomorrow who gets to sit down knowing they banked a run the day before. If yesterday-you hadn't screwed you over that could be you now.

TWO
Right now you're probably using up a considerable amount of mental energy debating with yourself whether or not you should run today, trying to find reasons not to and failing at convincing yourself you should do it. If you just went out for a run you could save all that mental energy and who knows what you'd be able to acheive with it. You might have your Dragons' Den idea. Or maybe finish a crossword.

THREE
You want to have run, you'd just rather not have to do the running bit. So instead of thinking about the running bit, think about the smug post-run afterglow of sweat and how pleased with yourself you'll be for actually doing it.

FOUR
You'll never regret a run that you did, only the runs you didn't do. Well, maybe not never. If a dog bit you of a run you'd probably regret going on that one - or at least going on that route. But think back on all the runs you've done. Have you ever got back and gone 'well, I wish I hadn't done that'. no, probably not.

FIVE
You can tell people that you went for a run. There's probably a few annoying doubters in your life who think you won't stick at this running lark and that it's just a phase. Stick it to them by going for a run today and then casually dropping it into conversation. It doesn't have to be a real conversation - ones in you head work just as well sometimes.

Running and eating in Vietnam

2012-02-03T13:37:00.001Z

Dalat in the south central highlands of Vietnam is a place where newlyweds from Saigon honeymoon, others seek shelter from the sticky heat of the city to bask in the mountain air and a place where runners (by which I mean me) come to run.

There's three good reasons to run in Dalat: it's got a lake which is about 7km in circumstance; it's at 1,500m which totally counts as an altitude training camp; and it has a pretty damn good bakery.

I may not have come across a supplier of energy gels or Cliff Bars in Vietnam but I have found something better: weasel poo coffee. Yes, this afternoon I drank an espresso made from coffee beans that have been eaten by a weasel and pooed out again. So when I went for my run in the evening I was full of weasel poo beans, quite literally, and much to my surprise, sped round the lake. Though I hope this isn't connected to the coffee because at £20 for a 100g bag that could be a pricy addition to the old kit bag.

While running in South East Asia I've been keeping count of other runners I pass. At four, Da Lat is by far the highest so far - possibly because of the cooler climate. They've also, to the contrary of what I'd been told about Vietnam, been the friendliest runners I've encountered in a long time. The first four all gave me the runners triple crown (a wave, a smile and a wink) and the last asked me 'Are you just finishing?' which translates as 'Hey you've barely broken a sweat and look awesome'. That never happens in London.

I had indeed finished and found myself outside that bakery. What better recovery food is there than a freshly cooked vegetarian steamed bun washed down with a glass of something white that definitely wasn't milk but tasted good?

Hashing in Ho Chi Min City

2012-02-01T11:25:00.001Z

Thousands of miles away from home where I don't speak the language or know anyone in a city of five million people, I knew a place I could go where a group of runners would welcome me like an old friend. A place where everybody knows your (hash) name. It's like 'Cheers' but with a bit of running and more beer. Hash house harriers inhabit every corner of the globe, and Ho Chi Min City (or Saigon) is no different. The plan had always been to pick up a hash here. What I hadn't banked on was running into a fellow London City hasher in the lobby of my guesthouse on my way there.

Saigon Hash House Harriers do things a little different to how we roll back in London. For a start they laid on a coach that took us an hour out of the city to the start of the trail. There the same rituals of making those with brand spanking new trainers Christen them by downing a beer out of one took place. The hares (those who had marked out the trail the day before) were then introduced and with a few calls of ON ON we were on out way.

Saigon H3 has a separate trail for walkers which intersects the running trail at a couple of points. Both groups follow their own trail markings which, in the countryside of Vietnam, are made with shredded paper as opposed to the chalk that we use back home in central London.

The route took us out into the countryside, along trails, between streams and paddy fields, through woods and a cornfield then under a barbed wire fence - anywhere the hare wants to take the trail of paper, you follow. It was definitely a route high on sights not mentioned in any guidebooks. The locals we passed seemed as perplexed about what was going on as those we run past back home: a group of sweaty runners looking for markings and shouting out strange calls of 'On on', 'On back' or 'On you' to each other seems to do that anywhere.

Hashing attracts a range of people, from kids tagging along with their parents to those in their twenties up to their seventies. There's always a mix of regulars and visiting hashers from overseas hashes like me. Like the first ever Hash House Harriers in Malaysia in the 1930s - the Saigon hash was set up by ex-pats who fancied getting together for a beer and a run once a week. Local Vietnamese runners also take part and make up a good proportion of runners and walkers.

When we made it to the end of our 7.5km route, some of us had battle scars from falling over or getting scratched by bushes to proudly show. The walkers were waiting for us, as was a cold icebox full of beer. But San Miguel? That's not how we do things back home. A warm pint of real ale doesn't seem a popular choice after running in 30 degree heat, so I did like a local and drank my cold lager.

The huddle rounded off proceedings. The hares, any virgins (those that had never hashed before) and any visitors (like me) were called into the circle one by one to do their 'down-downs'. This is the advantage of a warm pint of real ale - less gas and a warmer temperature mean you can knock it back quicker, not that I'm making excuses. Lots of singing of traditional hashing songs goes on during this part and much as I'd like to share with you some of the lyrics I doubt a single line of them would get through your profanity filter.

We all piled back on the bus where as much beer as we could drink was available until we made it back into town to the ON ON - or the pub as you might call it. Needless to say that's were it all goes a bit hazy for me. All I know it that I came, I ran, I made a lot of new sweaty friends and I woke up in the morning with a sore head and a t-shirt from the Saigon Hash House Harriers stash. ON ON.

What your partner needs to know about running

2012-01-30T08:30:00.000Z

If you're new to running, or thinking about stepping it up a gear to take on a few races, there's a few things that the nearest and dearest need to know - for your sake and theirs.

You're going to be a bit of a bore
Achieving new distances, times and tackling hills you once thought was impossible is exciting stuff... for you. They probably won't be as enthusiastic as you, but that's fine. They just don't understand. They probably have interests that you don't get. So warn them you're going to be a bit of a bore and if they can't muster a few enthusiastic head-nods, maybe get a blog, or a cat.

It's going to take up a fair bit of your time
Hopefully they have something that can occupy them for a few hours on a weekend anyway, like catching up with that programme that they love but you hate, doing their own sport, visiting their family (score: you get out of that now you're training) or, if you partner is a man, taking a long sit down in the toilet.

They will be required for holding bags
One of the main reasons for having a partner is so that they can come to races with you and hold your stuff, thus saving you from having to queue for the baggage lorry. See, and you thought that it was something to do with love and stuff. They should bring along a book, phone loaded with games or newspaper to entertain them depending on the length of the race. And also some snacks, for when you finish.

The rewards
If the first three items in the list aren't making them do their happy dance, this one will: running regularly is going to make you happier, fitter and put you in a better mood. So they need to get on board, encourage you out for a run when you don't want to go, and not make unhelpful comments like 'you look a bit red and sweaty'. Teach them the phrase 'you look awesome' and ask them to use it liberally when you get back from a run.

Six months until London 2012

2012-01-23T08:00:00.000Z

I may be a gazillion miles away today, but I'm thinking of London. In six months time on 27 July 2012, the Opening Ceremony of the London 2012 Olympic Games will be held. It feels like only yesterday I was (sort of) running the Olympic marathon myself. Did you know that there's certain elements that must feature in every Olympic Games Opening Ceremony? No? Then prepare to read some of the things you're going to learn today as well as a few predictions from me...

Receiving the Head of State of the Host Country
The Queen will be earning her keep and will be met at the entrance of the Olympic Stadium by the President of the IOC Jacques Rogge and the Chair of the Organising Committee Sebastian Coe.
Prediction: the Queen will wear blue and Seb Coe (who already had a Kinghthood) will be asking her why the sword and chainmail suit hasn't been delivered to him yet.

Parade of Nations
A procession of the participating teams into the Stadium, nation by nation. Teams enter in alphabetical order, according to the language of the Host Country, apart from the Greek team, which enters first, and the Host Country (in this case Team GB), who march in last.
Prediction: the resulting static electricity caused by hundreds of shell suits in one place will cause all athletes' hair to stand on end for the rest of the games.

Speeches
Chair Seb Coe will give a speech, followed by the President of the IOC, Jacques Rogge. He will end his speech by introducing the Queen to officially declare the Games open.
Prediction: this will be boring, so go get yourself a drink.

Olympic Anthem and the entry and raising of the Olympic Flag
Once the Games have been declared open, the Olympic Flag is carried into the Stadium and hoisted into the air as the Olympic Anthem is played.
Prediction: a new Olympic Anthem will be revealled. It's written by Gary Barlow and is called 'Relight my Olympic fire'. He's been busy with X Factor so could only manage a reworking of some of his old stuff. This time there's no Loulou though which is a result.

Oaths
A participating athlete, judge and coach from the Host Nation stand on the rostrum and, holding a corner of the Olympic Flag in their left hand and raising their right, take the Olympic Oath, vowing to compete and judge according to the rules of their respective sport.
Prediction: you won't recognise any of these three people but months of bickering will have happened to decide who does this job for Team GB.

The Torch and lighting of the Cauldron
The big finale is the entrance of the Olympic Flame into the Stadium. It is passed through the athletes to the final Torchbearer, who will ceremoniously light the Olympic Cauldron, indicating the beginning of the Games.
Prediction: miffed at being left out of the new Olympic anthem, Loulou will pop up with a flame thrower singing a mash-up of 'Shout' and 'Wheels on fire'.

Feel free to add your own prediction in the coments box.

Gut instincts

2012-01-20T04:33:00.001Z

It has just taken 1.5 hours for me to eat a bowl of muesli. Those of you that have had the pleasure of dining with me will know that I usually inhale my food. To paraphrase Ros Geller, I grew up in a big family "if you didn't eat fast you didn't eat".

After more than two weeks of travelling in Cambodia something isn't quite right with my gut. But why am I sharing this on a running blog? Well as I've previously stated, marathon runners' interest in all things gastrointestinal is rivalled only by new parents.

But it's not just that or the fact that I'm looking for sympathy and possibly aid parcels. It has also reminded me of the awesomeness of running to relate to every shitty situation (pardon the pun). Because staying in a place where I share a bathroom with 10 other people could daunt your average person who is feeling a little under the weather. Not me, I've shared a portaloo with 10,000 runners.

What of the 20 meters I may have to dash from my bungalow made of straw to use said toilet? I've sucked it up and run a little bit quicker after seeing a 'Toilet 500m' sign. I laugh in the face of your 20 meters. And what about eating because it will make you feel better even though it's the last thing you want to do? I've guzzled down Lucozade and kept running even though my stomach felt like it had been hit with a wrecking ball.

So it may have taken half an hour longer than my first ever 10k, but I defeated that bowl if muesli and I will defeat this illness. And next time I jump in a river, I'll keep my mouth shut.

Running amok

2012-01-14T10:59:00.001Z

I'm not sure if it was my pale, freckley skin, my red frizzy hair or the fact that I was running but I turned a few heads while out on my first run in Cambodia. After a long bus journey and a day rattling about in the back of a tuktuk, I was ready to pull my trainers on and head off for a run through the town of Battambang.

The fact that I caused a bit of a stir isn't to say that exercise isn't common out here. I fact the town has a communal, outdoor aerobics class in the evening which takes place across the river from the evening food stalls which may or may not be a coincidence. In Phnom Penh I saw two local joggers shuffling round a park and along the river outdoor exercise gym equipment was being used enthusiastically.

My route took me through the town, along it's river and back the other side, about three miles on total. It shouldn't have been a taxing run, apart from trying to avoid being run over by a moped. The route was flat and the heat of the day had subsided. And yet for the last quarter mile it was hard. The air was thick from the constant stream of mopeds, tuktuks and other vehicles and the dust they kick up. If it wasn't that it was the decreases mileage and the increased eating I've been doing while away showing itself. The local dish (Amok - see the clever post title now) is too delicious to resist though. If that's the case I may have more work to do that I thought in preparation for the marathon start line.

Ode to my Garmin

2012-01-12T13:27:00.001Z

I look for you

You make no sound

My wrist feels heavy

You are not there

Running in London's parks

2012-01-09T09:00:00.000Z

What are the best parks in London for running in? It was a question I was asked a while ago and I've given it a lot of consideration. Richmond Park was my playground for a couple of years, but recently living in the center of the city Regent's Park and Hyde Park have been getting a lot of face time with me. Here's how they all compare.

Richmond Park
Some might argue that, being 10 miles out of the city, this isn't a London Park. But on the basis that if you stand on Henry's Mound you can see St Paul's Cathedral I'm judging that it is. Richmond Park is like the coutryside in London. Deer run through it and you can, as I have despite running in it regularly, get lost in it. For runners it has everything: road, trail, hills, flat. Oh, and plenty of toilets. A lap of Richmond Park is around 7.3 miles and as well as a ParkRun and numerous other races throughout the year, it even has it's own marathon.

Regent's Park
Regent's Park is that it's one of the few places in the UK where you'll be able to see penguins on your run. True story. There's a spot as you pass London Zoo which is in the north on the park where you can get a glimpse into the penguin enclosure. One lap is less than three miles and it's all flat, which can get a bit boring for long runs but makes it a good park for beginners or doing speed workouts. On the plus side though it has a running track that is completely free (but 387m rather than your standard 400m).

Hyde Park
What's not to love about a six-mile route pretty much free of traffic and surrounded by trees and other green stuff slap bang in the middle of London? Throw in some slight inclines to keep it fresh, a couple of toilets and water fountain and it's the ultimate running destination in Zone 1. And if you happen to be one of those triathlon type running people you can do all three of your workouts rights in the park without having to bring anything more than a towel and a cossie. Swim in the Serpentine (like I did here), then hop on a Borris Bike and do a couple of laps and then finish with a run. Or if you'd rather watch triathlon than take part you can watch the world champions battle it out.

Clearly my judgement could be off due to being the other side of the globe at the moment, so tell me which of London's parks is your favorite below.

Planes, trains and portaloos

2012-01-07T01:40:00.001Z

Marathon training, the great voyage of discovery that will acquaint you better with yourself, break down the boundaries of what you thought was possible and show you that if you practice and want it badly enough, you can in fact hold a wee for six hours.

If you're training for your first marathon, congratulations because you just got a new best friend in the shape of your toilet habits. You will become obsessed with when you last went, how much you've drunk, what colour your wee is and whether or not you might need to go again in the next hour.

New parents and marathon runners are the only people on earth, maybe with the exception of Gillian McKeith who are this interested in numbers one and two. But this is an important matter. Nobody wants to have to stop for a number one on marathon day and they certainly don't want to stop for a number two. Marathon portaloos pose two obstacles for the marathon runner: they generally have a long queue and they're pretty grim.

There is of course the option to 'do a Paula' as it's known and stop by the roadside. For the record though I've only seen Paula do this once in a marathon where as I have done it on no less than three occasions so maybe this should be named after me. Should you decide to stop for a portaloo and you have the ability to block out the scenery, the queue will not only eat into your time but can make your legs forget how to run and you realise how much it hurts.

So as well as a well practiced routine of number ones alfresco, I also employ a technique that I've named 'just bloody hold it'. Now the good thing about marathon running is that many of the skills gained from it cross over into real life situations. For example as I write this post I'm on a 'third class' train from Bangkok to the Cambodian border. Six hours of 'just bloody hold it' training in action.

Running goals for 2012

2012-01-02T08:30:00.000Z

Reflecting on how I managed to achieve a huge one out of five of my roals for 2012 has made planning this year's running targets a little problematic. I don't want to set the bar too low or too high. So with that in mind, here's what 2012 may have in store for me...

A sub-4 marathon - I'm pretty confident I know what I have to do to make this happen this year and I'm going to give myself three opportunities to make it happen.

Train with a club - I trained with club for a few moths last year and in those few months I really noticed big improvements in my running. So once I get back from my travels I will be hooking up with a London club and putting in some quality miles.

Race more - I now realise that the way to get better at a specific distance race and bring the PB down is to do it more. So was well as the three marathons I plan to do I will be chucking in at least as many half-marathons and 10Ks, and exploding back onto the London Park Run scene.

Run more - this is the year I plan to take my running a little more seriously and see what I can do. I don't think I'll be winning any races or even any age groupings. This is about being the best that I can be - not where I come compared to others.

Watch the 2012 marathons - I plan to camp out all night it that's what it takes to see the elites go past in the Olympic marathons. I've been excited about having this happen on my doorstep for a long while now. You may even remember when I ran the route last year. Come on Paula - bring it home.

Saved by my trainers

2012-01-01T06:44:00.001Z

In 1770 Captain Cook first set foot in Quensland at the town of 1770. I know! What a coincidence. He'd run out of food and water and came ashore looking for something to eat and drink. He found both and had a hearty meal of 'bustard', a large bird after which he named the area bustards bay.

Fast forward 240 years and this Lazy Girl first sets foot in the town of 1770. Stand by for a possible renaming of the town. I too wandered the area hungry and thirsty but it wasn't a bird that saved me but my trainers.

The helpful man at the information stall told me walking down the beach from the town of Agnes Water to 1770 was the nicest route. So that's what I did. I walked and I walked and I walked some more. An hour and a half of walking on sand in fact. There was nothing and nobody around and it was nearly dusk.

When I finally made it to 1770 it was time to head back. Luckily I was packing my running kit so after a quick change behind a bush I ran back to town along the road and watched the sun set as I went. A friendly local pulled alongside me in his truck and asked "You exercising?"

"Yes I am."

"You want a lift?"

"No thanks. It's about 5k back to town isn't it?"

"Nah, about 8."

And with that he sped off before I had chance to change my mind. I did make it back though, thanks to my kit. The next evening I ate pizza during sunset rather than getting lost and running home.

Christmas Day run 2011

2011-12-27T00:57:00.001Z

There's a huge tidal swell on the coast of Australia where I am at the moment. Surfers have been flocking here to ride the huge waves or, more often than not, get thrown about by them. Sports photographers too have positioned themselves along the higher ground with their wide angle lenses pointing out to see. There's a few pros out there. The surf photographers through their massive lenses and experience can pick them out but the rest of us just see heads bobbing about and figure on boards.

Watching this scene as I stood sweating in my kit and Santa hat having run five miles barefoot along the beach the similarities between surfing and running were obvious. There's no barriers between the elite and the novice or hobbiest. Unlike golf or tennis where the rich and the good buy their way into certain courses or clubs with money or medals, the beach and the road are open to all who want to give it a go.

Likewise, if you take part in certain marathons you'll be running in the exact same race as world record holders, Olympians and world champions. You'll be racing against them just as the world champions are riding the same waves as the surf pros congregating on the east coast.

This was Christmas Day in Australia. My run along the beach happened as the sun was lowering in the sky and bouncing off the water. The sand was wet and firm and the surfers kept me entertained. It was very different to the past two years when I've run through snow but it was still a pretty merry Christmas of running.

2011, a year of running in review

2011-12-26T09:00:00.000Z

Blimey, where did 2011 go? Maybe it's because I ran so fast that it all seems like a blur. As you wash down the last of the turkey and many of you start to think about training plans for a spring marathon allow me to be a little self-indulgent and reflect of what I've done in the past 12 months.

The big thing to note is that I achieved precisely none of the things that were on my running goals for 2011. Go me! They were all achievable, all realistic but they didn't happen. But many good things have happened in 2011 that weren't on the list of goals to tick off. In September I was shortlisted for a Blog award by Cosmopolitan magazine. Who could have seen that coming? And part way through the year I decided to turn my life upside down and spend four months travelling and running the other side of the globe.

Let's break down last year's to do list and see what we can learn...

1) Run my second marathon - sub 4 hours - I did run my second marathon, but didn't go sub-4. There's enough reasons for why this didn't happen here. I'm OK with that, it will happen eventually.

2) Sub 50 minute 10k PB - You know the parable about the guy who prays to God to win the lottery but he never buys a ticket? Well it's difficult to get a 10K PB if you don't enter any races. I'm confident that, had I raced a 10K I would have been under 50 minutes - that's because my stats told me so, not because I'd been praying or anything.

3) Sub 1.55 half-marathon PB - again, this didn't happen. The only half-marathon I did was 4 weeks after my marathon and two days after being struck down with a cold. Not the best time to achieve this. I did run a sub 1.55 half in training, but it's unverified and so doesn't count.

4) Complete Janathon - run every day in January - um, yeah I'm not Ron Hill. What can I say, it was cold.

5) 1000 miles run in 2011- as I'm writing this post in November I don't know how close I've come to the 1000 miles mark but I know it won't be happening. It's a funny old thing the significance we put on certain numbers: sub-4, 1000 miles, 50 mins. 30 seconds the wrong way can feel like failure - but what's 30 seconds? But still, chasing a number is a good motivator. maybe next year I'll break with running tradition and shoot for a sub 23.21 5k time.

What all this has shown me though, is that it's good to have goals but if you focus on them too much you start to not notice the good things that you are doing. Also, I need to do more races. I did six races in 2011 which included everything from a 1-mile race to a marathon (though significantly not a 10K). So it's time to get out the chequebook and start racing more.

Happy Boxing Day everyone!

Running on Christmas day

2011-12-19T08:30:00.000Z

Christmas Day 2009

Well blow me down with a snow storm, Christmas is only bloomin well less than a week away! That's exciting/stressful/irrelevant depending on your feeling and faith. There's a lot of traditional things that my family does at Christmas like going for a curry on Christmas Eve. It's closer to the type of food that may have been eaten at the birth of Baby J, that and we're preparing for some serious chicken and sprout lock-in over the next few days.

Another tradition in the Lazy Girl household is the liberal use of the phrase 'You've ruined Christmas now' and copious amounts of breaking wind (see reference to curry and sprouts above). But in recent years I've started my own, new tradition - running on Christmas Day.

Daley Thompson famously trained hard on Christmas Day because he knew his competitors wouldn't be and this would give him an advantage. I run on 25 December for similar reasons: the streets are pretty empty, there's hardly any cars about, 'it's the most wonderful time of the year' to run.

So in the lul between morning excitement and the excesses of Christmas lunch, put your shoes (and maybe even a Santa hat) and go for a run - even if it's just for 20 minutes. I very much recommend it. Especially if the kids/in-laws/parents/siblings/TV are doing your head in. I'll be running, but I'm not expecting to be running through snow this year.

[This post was written on 28 Sept, which feel a bit odd. Merry Christmas to you all.]

Desert island running

2011-12-18T01:51:00.001Z

Podcasts have been a big feature of my trip so far. Many long distance bus journeys have been spent listening to Kirsty Young asking various people for the tracks and luxury items they'd need if they were castaway on a desert island (Michael Johnson was a notable running episode) and I've pondered what I'd ask for.

For the past two days I have found out having been marooned on a desert island for real. OK, I wasn't exactly marooned, I slept in a hotel room, had a hot shower and a lot of good food - but it was a sand island (the biggest sand island in the world) and I had no phone signal or wifi so I think that's pretty much the same thing.

I spent two days on Fraser Island which was realy nice. There, not only did I discover that my luxury item would be a sports bra please Kirsty but I also realised some of the benefits of running on holiday. My group of 20 set off on a walk thrpugh a forest to Lake Wabbie. Wanting to be the first there and to experience this massive sand dune and lake by myself for five minutes I broke into a sprint and passed all of the group. Five minutes alone in these beautiful surroundings was amazing.

Fraser Island is also home to 75-mile beach. And if that name alone isn't crying out for an ultra-marathon to be staged on it, I don't know where is. Keen to investigate this I seized my opportunity late afternoon when the weather broke to go for a short run. I ran about 500m down the beach before I noticed some dingo footprints. As we'd been told several times not to go to the beach alone because of the dingos, I took this as my cue to turn round and run back.

I had no running shoes, so I ran barefoot but I did have a sports bra. The only luxury item I'd need if I was to be marooned there for good. And maybe some sort of dingo repellent too.

How to spot a runner

2011-12-09T04:43:00.001Z

You're away from home and having running withdrawal. Yes you've run but you miss your running buddy, your club or even those strangers on the Internet that you talk about running with all day. Fear not, I've become somewhat of an expert at identifying people to run with or just talk about running with. From talking marathons in the shadow of Uluru to sharing training tips with an ironman in Greece and finding someone to run with at 7am in the Australian Grampians, I've no trouble picking up runners. Read on and soon your 'run-dar' will be as finely tuned as mine.

Gentlemen, you may not be as practiced in immediately checking out people's footwear, but if you want to spot a fellow runner you'll need to start at the ground up. We won't be packing walking/hiking shoes as well as running shoes so runners are conspicuous by wearing the sort of Brooks, Mizunos, New Balance or Asics that nobody would wear for purely aesthetics.

Next up check out their thighs, not for muscle tone or anything like that but to see if they're struggling to shift that tell-tale joggers tan line gained from running in shorts all year round. For your Capri-wearer this will be around mid-calf instead.

Other running clothes and accessories that may give a runner away to those with a keen eye include running-backpacks, waterproof jackets, shades or race t-shirts - although you might want to avoid anyone wearing the latter as civvies.

Food and drink is important to your holiday runner, and I'm not talking about sangria and paella. Is anyone round the pool popping a rehydration sachet into their water bottle? Or chomping on a Cliff Bar after a trek? That's your man.

Finally, if you go on any group treks look out for the person picking their way through the group, weaving round the other walkers (possibly even offering the occasional elbow to the ribs) as they make their way to the front. That racing instinct doesn't stop, even on holidays. If you can't spot them, they may just be that heavy breathing you can hear on your shoulder.

Four miles in under a minute

2011-12-08T08:12:00.001Z

Tuesday's run in Coff's Harbourm Australia

Joining a running club

2011-12-05T08:30:00.000Z

We run faster when we run in fron of others, whether that's spectators who have come to watch you in a race, the competitors you're running against or just other people out for their sunday run or jog in the park. This is a scientific fact and one that you can read about more in Matt Fitzgerald's 'Run: the mind body method of running by feel'.

Therefore, training with a club not only gives you access to coaching and structured training sessions, it also encourages you to run with others which will make you run faster without you necessarily realising it. I was adament for a long time that running clubs weren't for me - but then I tried one and found I got a lot faster very quickly. They're not everyone's cup of tea, but here's a few things you should know about running with a club to help you make up your mind.

They're generally quite friendly places - everyone is there to run, whether they run at the front of the pack or the back of the pack. I've found them to be encouraging and, as you have a shared interest in running - even if you're not there to broaden your social circle - you always have that to chat about.

They're aren't just for super speedy runners - maybe you've been put off joining a club by seeing super fast people in their club shirts at races. Not all club runners are fast. I guarantee that there will be at least one person at any given club that is slower than you or that at least was slower than you when they started.

It's nice to race for a club, but you don't have to. There will usually be someone doing a race that you're thinking of doing and that is maybe aiming for your pace. Running with club runners was how I managed to break 2 hours in a half-marathon the first time, they paces me through it and kept me going.

You don't have to go to every session. looking at some running club schedules can be a bit overwhelming, but you don't have to go to every one and very few people actually do.

So if you're thinking of joining a club, email the secretary or one of the coaches and tell them what sort of running you're currently doing. They'll be able to tell you which sessions might be best for you to go along to first and you'll be able to try them out before you sign up.

Running in the outback

2011-12-03T07:58:00.001Z

If you've ever been to Alice Springs you'll be familiar with the distant sound of duelling banjos that follows you down the street as you walk anywhere by yourself. Needless to say it's not the most appealing town to run round and this comes from someone who is quite happy running round the seedier parts of south London. That aside, as I stepped off The Ghan train at Alice Spings station it felt as though someone was following me round with a hair dryer on its highest setting. You only need to look at previous pictures to know that me and hair dryers aren't the best of friends. It was 40 degrees C in Alice. There was no chance of running.

For two nights I slept under the stars in 'swag', didn't shower and drank beer from a can. I was living like a hobo and hobos don't run. I walked round Kings Canyon, up Kata Tjuta and round Uluru. But no running. Then, on my last evening in the outback, still in the shadow of the rock, the clouds arrived and the wind picked up. It was time.

Running kit now firmly at the top of my bag I whipped it on and headed out for a 3 mile run. Tourists in air conditioned busses looked on confused as to why I was running. It was still pretty warm but the red dirt track was the perfect surface and the view at the end of the run was pretty great too. And luckily I didn't bump into the two dingos that I'd seen earlier in the day.

There was one minor hiccup on what was otherwise a pretty perfect run. My post-run shower was in a shower block 50 meters away from my bed. As I got in the shower I realised I'd forgotten my towel. No worries, I thought, I'll just dry off with my running vest. This an was going well until I realised I'd also forgotten to bring a top to put on post-shower and the one I could have used was now wet. (I've had very little sleep this week.) So a 50 meter sprint in my bra to finish of my session it was.

So I've now run in all three states I've been in: New South Wales; South Australia and the Northern Territory. Up next is Queensland.

Running and counting

2011-11-29T04:54:00.001Z

Running changes the way you count. Runners work to a different numerical system to the rest of their country. For example a marathon becomes not 26.2 miles but four five-milers and a 10k. That's how I break up the distance.

Non-running-related activities too can be measures in running terms. My four hour bus journey the other day was (for me) a quick marathon. And my trip will last four months in total, or as any marathon runner will tell you, as long as it takes to train for the 26.2 mile race.

So with three weeks done, the long runs would be getting longer from here on. But as I'm in Alice Springs where the temperature today is 40 degrees C, I'm glad that these 16 weeks aren't part of a marathon training plan and put April's race to the back of my mind for now.

Five marathons to do before you die

2011-11-28T08:30:00.000Z

G'day folks. As I may have mentioned once or twice, I'm running upside down with my new friend Skippy at the moment in Australia where all this cultural stereotyping is going down a treat. If you, like me, want to combine running with a spot of travelling, check out these races. They're top of my list of global races that I'd most like to cross the finish line of.

1 Big Sur Marathon
If you've seen pictures of the Big Sur in California, you'll know why Bart Yasso said: "If we were told that we could only run one marathon in our lifetime, Big Sur would have to be it." That's me there at the Big Sur when I drove through it on a roadtrip a few years back before I became a marathoner. I've always wanted to return and see that coastline at a slower pace - how better than to run it?

2 Boston Marathon
Maybe it's because it's the world's oldest annual marathon, maybe it's because it's where women broke ground to be entitled to run the marathon distance, or maybe it's because in order to even make the start line you have to train hard, set a good time in another marathon and make the qualifying time for Boston. For a woman of my age grouping, I'd have to run a 3.40 marathon in order to qualify for Boston. It will take time, but I'll get there.

3 Le Marathon du Medoc
Run in the south of France through vineyards, at this marathon you won't be handed isotonic sports drinks but a glass of wine instead. It's not a race to do to set a good time (so now Boston Qualifying time up for grabs here) but for the atmosphere. Oh and the strong element of fancy dress. Who doesn't love fancy dress and wine?

4 Venice Marathon
The need for carbs before a marathon means you have to, for at least once in your life, try a race in the country that has the best carbs in the world. There's nowhere I'd rather spend a couple of days carb loading than in Italy and in 2012 I'll be doing just that as I prepare for the Venice Marathon. Don't let the 14 bridges put you off, word has it this is a flat course with stunning scenery.

5 London Marathon
Oh London, my adopted home town, why do you spurn me so? You know it makes me want you all the more. I've had a turbulent relationship with the London Marathons. Despite four rejections I keep coming back for more, only to be turned away. But it's the city I live in, the city I love and my earliest memories of a marathon were of getting up every April morning to try and spot my uncle and his bright yellow vest on the TV as he ran the London Marathon. I know there are other marathons, I've run other marathons but every year when I turn out to cheer on the runners in the London Marathon I want to be the other side of the curb running through my city. There are other ways to get a place in London. A good for age time of 3.45 should get me in one day, until then I'll keep being it's most enthusiastic spectator.

Running in Adelaide: the Peace Mile

2011-11-26T04:41:00.001Z

We run for many different reasons: to look good; to stay healthy; to clear our heads or just because we enjoy it. There's no right or wrong reason to run (except maybe running away from a policeman or after a cat - I disagree with that).

Today I've been reminded of two other reasons why people run. In Adelaide today was the Santa Run - a charity 4K race. Hopefully many of the people motivated to run it for others will continue to run for themselves.

I didn't run in the Santa Run. Instead I ran to a park and ran the 'Sri Chinmoy Peace Mile'. This is a 'permanently marked measured mile for the use of runners in our pleasant and peaceful parklands'.

The route goes round the park and the Peace Pole. So there's another few reason to run: contemplation, meditation, to show your support to a cause or to find your own inner peace. I got lost while running it though and ended up running two peace miles - I was just too peaceful I forgot where I was going.

Running on the move

2011-11-25T03:29:00.001Z

Nearly three weeks in Australia and three runs have been completed. The most recent was in the stunning Grampian Mountains at 7am. And there's a lesson to be learned from it.

My trainers were packed at the bottom of my rucksack so were a hassle to get out because it involves getting everything else out and the more times I do that the more reluctant my crap seems to be to go back in the bag. I sat at dinner eating my second helping of pasta and declared 'I might go for a run in the morning'. I wasn't expecting to hear 'I'll come with you'.

So running date made, it was difficult to hit the snooze button knowing that another runner was lacing up their shoes and waiting for you. So I too jumped out of bed and put on my slightly smelly kit which I dug out from the depths of my bag.

Three miles through Halls Gap when the sun was blue and the air crisp passing nobody but a lot of kangaroos who looked on slightly puzzled was a great start to the day. And when I got back I repacked my bag so that now my trainers are at the top. Hopefully that will result in a few more memorable runs.

It's difficult to motivate yourself to run sometimes and easy to find barriers between yourself and running. Remove as many of these barriers as you can, by repacking your own bag whatever that is, and make it easier for you to run.

Melbourne, a city made for running

2011-11-20T23:22:00.001Z

Melbourne was made for running, not just because of the cooler climate that means that right now the weather is like a good British summer but also because the public spaced demand to be run on, around and through.

The Yarra River which flows through the city invites you to run along its banks and follow it for a couple of miles. Despite being in the city surrounded by towering buildings, the river banks are fairly relaxed and quiet and it doesn't take too long before you've left the city behind and are surrounded by green.

The Yarra leads to the Botanical Gardens or 'the Tan' as the locals call it. Hills, plants and endless paths to explore are all inside. But on the outside there's something quite special - a gravel track made for running on. The track has lighting that is on until 12am at night and from 5.30am in the morning. It also has kilometre markers that pop up every half kilometer or so. And it has runners. It was being used by a steady stream of Lycra-clad Melbournites working out.

Urban spaces tend to be divided up into three realms, those for driving, those for walking and those for walking. Runners, maybe because of their smaller numbers or maybe because urban planners don't recognise the different needs of those walking and those running, often get lumped in together. But we're different.

It's difficult to say what came first - the space for running or the runners to use it. But more spaces designed specifically with running in mind (which doesn't mean to be used exclusively by runners) is the way forward and the way I'd like to see London develop. Maybe it's a case of 'build it and they will come'.

Running in Sydney

2011-11-17T10:00:00.001Z

It took almost a week for the jet lag to subside and the temperature to cool enough for me to do my first Australian run but it has happened. I ran down to Sydney Harbour Bridge, under the bridge and round Circular Quay to the Opera House then back again. It was early evening, still warm out and the lights of the city were shining.

I'm thousands of miles from friends and family but for half an hour while running I was at home. Putting one foot in front of the other, the simple act of running is such a familiar sensation that it became comforting. Not so much wherever I lay my hat, but wherever I lace up my trainers - that's my home...ish.

How to start running

2011-11-14T08:30:00.000Z

Running with the Nike+ Sports Watch

2011-11-09T15:10:00.000Z

Guest post by Ros (AKA Mr Nice guy)

Getting your Nike+ Sports Watch is a little like getting a new iPhone. The Box looks nice, the watch is starring you in the face the moment you open it and it looks damn good on the wrist. OK I might be a sucker for a nice looking object from time to time but I also have very high standards when it comes to things being functional.

I had read up on a number of watches including the Garmin Forerunner 610 touch screen, the Forerunner 405 and the Forerunner 305. A real range of prices and features to compare. I wasn't really all that bothered by the touch sesitive bevel control of the 405 or the touch screen of the 610 because while running I wanted the knowledge that I was hitting a nice big button that I didn't have to look down to find. So it came down to the 305 vs Nike+.

The 305 was well reviewed, had many features and without going into too much detail fulfilled the sort of data a physics graduate would require to analyse the crap out of any run he or she had done. I'm a physics graduate. But it was big, really big, God ugly big! Then there was the Nike+, new onto the market with much fan fair from the Nike PR department. Reviews were mixed with Garmin loyalists turning their nose up at this very good looking sports watch. I knew I had to get a GPS watch, my ability to pace myself during long runs was terrible and I needed to know how well I was doing in training for my marathon. So I took the plunge and took a punt on the Nike+ GPS Watch. After all if I wasn't going to run very fast I might as well not run fast in style! I have a TomTom for my car so their involvement in the Nike+ GPS Watch did help sway me.

The package contains two key pieces of kit, the watch (obviously) and the Nike+ sensor that slots into your shoe. I don't have Nike running shoes, but luckily it seems most makes of running shoe now leave a little section under the insole of your shoe for detectors of most makes.

Firstly you need to download a program onto your computer so that syncing the runs can occur. You also need to register on the Nike+ website to view your running data. The Nike+ is so heavy with graphics and flash that it feels very slow, that's my first criticism of the Nike+ GPS Watch experience. It does let you change how you view your run between miles and kilometres but when it posts the run to your Facebook page or on Twitter it forces everyone who doesn't have a Nike+ login to view your run in kilometres, rather annoying for someone who trains in miles.

The running experience
The watch sat on my wrist comfortably, I was really pleased with this as I have small wrists and big watches can sometimes tighten in such a way that to feel so firmly attached it cuts off the blood supply to the hand. The control menu was also really easy to use and didn't distract me with options I didn't need.
The watch did everything I wanted aside from an auto start/stop feature. It picked up GPS signals nice and quickly in the summer months when the sky was clear, but I did find it took longer to link the GPS when there was a thick layer of cloud.

The watch also dealt well with the times I had to run in the rain, and if you remember the summer of 2011 we had some very random monsoon-style showers, mainly on Sundays and mainly while I was doing my long run. The watch held quite a bit of charge, but not as much as some of the reviews I read claimed. I would say that you can do two 7 mile runs within a week without the need to charge the watch, if you do more than that I would charge the watch the evening before a run. If the watch is low on juice then it will only link to your foot sensor and not to the GPS so you can get some data from a run even if the watch is about to give up on you. Charging the watch doesn't take long so if you realise just before a run pop it on for a few minutes while you get ready.

Uploading the data is easy, you plug in the watch and the Nike+ program you installed does the rest. Logging into the Nike+ site is a pain as the program automatically opens Explorer when I prefer to use Crome, this can't be changed. The data is useful but I would have liked a bit more detail, the one thing missing that the data should be able to provide is your average stride length. With the foot sensor detecting foot impacts and the watch detecting the distance you've run it should be able to work out that simple sum but sadly Nike doesn't give you that data. There are also websites that enable you to download your run data from the Nike+ site should you want to upload it to another running site.

Conclusion
I like the Nike+ GPS Watch, it's not without its faults which mainly lie with the Nike website but if you're not a pro runner and simply want an enjoyable easy to use GPS running watch I would definitely recommend it.

Running up a bridge

2011-11-08T09:02:00.001Z

I've been in Sydney for three days now and my trainers are still firmly lodged in the bottom of my rucksack. That's despite the best efforts of the place I'm staying in displaying several 4k routes round Sydney Harbour ideal for running on their wall.

Today, however, I followed in the footsteps of a running legend. My sister had kindly booked me onto a climb to the top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. It's a three hour trek up the 'largest single arch span bridge in the world' on a very hot day. Good job I was packing my marathon running legs.

In reception they have photos of various celebs who have climbed the bridge including Kylie, Nicole Kidnan, Matt Damon and Prince Harry. Then Olympians Torvell and Dean. But the one I was most impressed with was running legend 'The Boss' Bruce Springstein. OK he may not have won a marathon but he did author the greatest running song ever.

So the climb was pretty awesome. It's really high, you can see almost all the way back to the UK (it looks quite rainy - sorry about that) and I can now add Sydney Harbour Bridge to the list of things that, when they come on telly, I can say 'I've stood on that'.

To bring it back to running, being a badass marathoner gave me two advantages over my fellow climber. First the obvious: I was fit enough to climb it and look around rather than worrying about having a heart attack. Second: I have a lot of experience having to wear nerdy outfits while sweating and then having someone take my photo so the jumpsuits you have to wear were no problem for me.

How to run when it's cold outside

2011-11-07T08:00:00.000Z

How do you deal with winter as a runner? Well there's a few options. You could man-up and pretend it isn't happening. You must have seen those crazy dudes (and they usually are dudes) that run in shorts and a vest all year round. They're mostly found at races called things like 'New Year's Icebreaker'. That's one coping strategy, I suppose, but not one I've ever been tempted by.

If you don't fancy frostbite, you will need to get the right kit. There's a few key pieces that you might want to invest in. Namely a hat, some gloves, some more gloves and a ridiculously bright jacket that makes you look like you're going to a rave being held about 20 years ago - or that you're from Hoxton. But it will help you be seen and could save your life.

Whether you choose to man-up or wrap-up, running throughout winter isn't as scary as you might think. I ran through the coldest winter in 30 years while training for my first marathon and I'm no hero. I'm usually the first to turn the heating on. There's a few more helpful tips that I learnt along the way here.

If, even with five pairs of gloves and two hoodies on, you still don't want to venture outside, you could resort to the treadmill in the comfort of a gym. Treadmills are incredibly boring so go prepared with a strategy - speed intervals, one of the pre-programmed hill or speed workouts or take a friend.

And if all that fails, maybe flee to somewhere that it's a little warmer. Did I mention it's a gazilion degrees down here in Australia? Feel free to throw things at me.

Leaving on a jetplane

2011-11-04T12:30:00.000Z

When I was little I had an atlas of the world. I'd spend hours looking at it, memorising capital cities, tracing countries. It was a child's atlas and alongside all the different continents and countries it has facts and information about them. One of the pictures I was fascinated by was of Uluru in Australia. It seemed to glow bright red like it had a lightbulb inside it.

I've travelled round a lot of nice places: Cuba, India, Thailand, Morocco, and had some great adventures but I've not yet made it to that big red rock in the Outback.

I don't know why, for as long as I can remember, I've been drawn to travel to Australia. Maybe it's the fact that it's pretty much as far away from my home in the UK as you can get or maybe it's the picture in my old atlas. But I've still not made it there.

Right about now, though, as this post publishes I'm on a plane that will take me to Sydney, Australia. I'm going by myself to travel round for a few months and, although this scares me, I'm also excited. If there's one thing that I've learnt from running over the past couple of years it's that you can do more than you ever thought possible. That you have the potential to be physically and mentally stronger than you realise, and that hard work pays off.

I've also been lucky enough to have friends and family who support me when I say things like 'I'm going to run a marathon' or 'I'm going to go to the other side of the world by myself' and say things like 'that sounds fun' rather than 'do you think that's a good idea'. So thanks to them, because not everyone has that.

A few years ago the idea of running a marathon was completely alien to me. It seemed like a superhuman feat and something that I could never do. Likewise the sort of people who could pick up a rucksack and head off by themselves to the other side of the world going wherever their fancy took them wasn't the sort of person that I could ever see myself being. But we can be whoever we choose to be. So I have chosen to be a marathon runner and an intrepid traveller and that's who I am. Rest assured, I have my running shoes with me, I'll be running while I'm away and I will be back.

I've read this post by another running blogger written on the eve of their first 100 mile race a few times in the past few months. I like it and I think you should all read it.

Running away from home

2011-10-31T12:17:00.002Z

I've said goodbye to Hyde Park, I've said goodbye to the hashers and I've said a lot of tearful goodbyes to my friends and family. On Friday 4 November I'm off to Australia and South East Asia for four months on the next big adventure. It's a bit scary stuff but very exciting.

The first thing that I put in my backpack was my running shoes (not at all because they'll be at the bottom and therefore the least accessible). They're coming with me and I'll be running in new countries, blazing new trails and quite possibly getting a bit lost. After all, I have two spring UK marathons to get ready for.

The other thing that's coming with me is you lot! Don't expect me to be quiet just because I'm away from my desk. There will be plenty of down time for me to string together a few words and, what with it being quite hot where I'm going, a lot of opportunities for me to grow my collection of sweaty headshots.

As well as joining a few local hash runs while I'm overseas, I'll pick up a couple of races and maybe crash a running club or two. Are you in Australia? Tell me where I should be running? Tell me what races I should be doing or invite me to come train with your club.

So that you don't get fed up of hearing about how it's too hot to train down under while the temperature plummets in the UK and you pull on five layers of thermal running tights, I've got a couple of old friends who are both in training for spring marathons to keep you company. You can find out more about them on the guest bloggers page. Please make them feel welcome.

What's in a name

2011-10-28T11:48:00.000+01:00

A great honour has been bestowed on my this week. On Tuesday my last outing with the City Hash House Harriers for four months was marked by my official acceptance as they grabbed me tightly and hugged my firmly against the sweaty, beer-soaked bosom. After around ten outings with the hashers they have given me a hashing name.

So as well as the name that my parents gave to me (Laura) and my blogging pseudonym (Lazy Girl) I now also answer to the name 'Wet Down Under'. Chosen because I'm leaving the hashers to go to Australia for a while (more on that on Monday).

Hashing names are, by tradition, a bit on the Not Suitable For Work side of things. Though I think I've escape lightly compared to some hashers, I won't be changing my business cards just yet.

The naming ceremony involves being dragged into the middle of the circle and having people shout name suggestions out until the wisdom of the crowd decides on one it likes. Then you get on your knees, have beer sprinkled over you and after you've downed a pint, your new identity begins. I imagine the whole witness protection process is quite similar to this.

This was quite a different evening to the one I had on Wednesday night when I went to Cosmopolitan magazine's blog awards - and possibly goes some way to explaining why I didn't win. That and the fact that I went home and washed my face in Dettol hand wash. I think it's safe to say that Cosmo girls don't do such things. Thanks to everyone who voted for me all the same. I drank a Cosmo in honour of each and every one of you.

Guest post: Running Vs Me

2011-10-26T14:02:00.000+01:00

Guest post by Ali.
Lazy girl has been sort of mentoring me in my first forays into running. About three months ago I decided I ought to do some exercise. That’s a lie – I’ve been ‘meaning to do some exercise’ for a very long time but I’ve always put it off – I’m too busy, it’s too hot/cold/wet, I look terrible in lycra/fleece/towelling, I need a new sports bra, I need new trainers, the dog ate my homework, you get the idea.

What changed my mind was something that had nothing at all with the idea of getting fitter, losing weight, protecting my bones etc – all of which I could do with. I wanted to improve my mood. I’d been through a very upsetting and difficult time, and I kept reading things about exercise making you feel better, mentally and physically. Specifically I chose running. I wanted something outdoorsy and cheap!

I knew I would need something to aim for, I saw a 5K in Richmond Park in October. This seemed nice and far off and again I could prevaricate – ‘I don’t need to train for it yet, it’s ages off’. Lazy girl gave me an idea of how to start. Moderate walking, building to fast walking, to jogging, to running. That’s OK I thought, I can walk moderately, if the need arises I can walk fast, hell if it was a choice between missing a train and waiting 20 minutes for another I could even manage a run!

It was all going great, I felt very smug, I was totally nailing this walking business, even the fast walking stuff, OK I was a little bit out of breath, but I was now an athlete! Then I started the running bit! I ran for five minutes and counted down every second on a stopwatch, walked for five minutes and then ran again. My legs felt like concrete, they just didn’t want to do what my brain told them. I came home with a banging headache, shaky legs, looking like I had been boiled. I wasn’t feeling better, this wasn’t helping my mood it was just making me grumpy! The next time out was slightly better but I was still counting down each five minutes of running to get to my walking oasis.

I decided next time I was just going to run and not look at my watch until I had to stop. I ran until I couldn’t run anymore and realised I’d run for 12 minutes. With some running and walking this became 18 minutes. Next time out I managed 28 minutes. What was this all about? I was back to being a supreme athlete! Elated I went for my next run in my lunch break – I too would run with the effortless lunchtime runners along the Victoria Embankment, I was one of them now. Except I wasn’t. It was much tougher going than my nice quiet local park, too many tourists and damn it – too many lunchtime runners! Legs were back to concrete. My 5K was six days away and I was back to 13 minutes of running.

Next time out was much better, 32 minutes of non-stop running. I was ready for Richmond Park.

22 October, a gorgeous sunny, crisp Autumn day and the Park looked beautiful and ever so slightly hilly! Very chilly to start with which wasn’t going down well with my support crew, one who kept wanting to get out of her buggy, one who was fascinated by the portaloos and another who was being driven mad by the former two!

I joined in with the 15 minute warm-up which frankly made me feel a bit tired (!) – then it was off to the start line. The first 2K were fine, apart from the chatter of the people running near me – I can’t talk when I run, I may need the oxygen later.

I was happier when the field thinned out. I realised I’d only really run on my own and I don’t like running with other people. Between 2K and 4K was hard and I ended up walking/running thanks to the ‘undulations’ of Richmond Park. I saw some friendly faces around the 4K marker and I was determined to run the last kilometre. My legs were back to stone again, and the finish line seemed to keep moving further away. I crossed the line – vowing never again. Support crew were very proud , especially the portaloo fan – although I think she was disappointed I didn’t get a medal.

Final time, 35:16 , 175th out of 215. I wanted to do 35 minutes and definitely less than 40. I had said never again but later that day I found myself looking for upcoming 5K runs!

So did running win? I’m very surprised to say it did. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I learned that sometimes you run and it doesn’t make you feel great but it is worth it for when it does. I learned that I liked running on my own, just me and my ipod and the road; that I need an event to keep me focussed but that I’m not much of a communal runner. Did it improve my mood? I think so, especially when you get that feeling that you can just keep going.

Running in Hyde Park

2011-10-24T10:00:00.000+01:00

Hyde Park has been a huge part of my running this summer. Like a silent running buddy it's been there on my long runs, never late and always goes the distance. Need water? Stop at the sculptural water fountain in the north of the park. Toilet stop? No need to hide behind a bush here. Too hot? Take shelter in the shade of the trees.

One lap of the perimeter (including Kensington Gardens) gives you nearly six miles surrounded by trees, grass flowers and all in the centre of London. What's more for most of those miles you can take a break from pounding the pavement and run on grassy paths. For one of my 20-mile runs while training for Nottingham Marathon I ran three laps without getting bored of it.

So it was an emotional run for me in Hyde Park on Saturday because it will be the last time I run there for a while. Sometimes I've neglected my running buddy, focussing on putting one foot in front of the other rather than what's to my left and right. But this week I stopped to smell the flowers, quite literally. The speakers on their box at Speakers Corner, dogs chasing frisbees, the leaves that have changed from green to brown in the past few days - I saw them all.

Next weekend I'll be leaving London for a little while and finding new places to run. I'll miss watching the snow and frost transforming the park and the trees standing bare in the cold. By the spring we'll both have changed. But with the first new leaves of 2012 I'll return to the city I call home to run through Hyde Park again.

The one with the VO2 max test

2011-10-21T13:11:00.000+01:00

It's fair to say that there were three very good reasons for signing up to do a VO2 max test. Firstly it was free and if you decline something that's free it actually costs you money - which sort of makes sense. Second of all I was a little bit curious about what all this running had done to me other than ruined any chances of wearing open-toed shoes without having to team them with a low-cut top to draw attention away from my manky feet. And thirdly, I was thinking of you guys. Which is shorthand for saying I couldn't think of anything to write about and then someone offered me a free VO2 max test.

Signing up for something three weeks in advance it's easy to think 'yeah that will be fine'. Your current self will totally screw your future self over and not worry about it. When three week's time comes around, all the free stuff in the world can seem like a stupid idea.

But on Monday I strapped on my backpack and ran the two miles to Runners Need where my test was taking place. You heard me I RAN to my VO2 MAX TEST. Badass or stupid: you decide. The lovely people from the London Metropolitan University who were doing the testing asked me a few questions about my running - which was kind of awkward, what with me not really liking talking about running or rolling off all my PBs but I got over that. Then the strapped on a heart rate monitor and guided me to the treadmill.

Here was the game: I had six minutes to run as far as I could without collapsing. Sounds fun no? It's been a fair few months since I last ran on a treadmill so I hurriedly did a bit of maths to try and work minutes per mile into kilometres per hour. This didn't go well and I stabbed at the [+] button franticly until it felt like my legs were about to work themselves off their hinges. The plan was 'go as fast as you can and try to hang on'.

I remember now why I don't like running in the gym: the mirror in front of your face. As awesome as I look when I'm running, seeing my reflection in all its awesomeness does remind the brain that the body is working pretty hard and that it could stop if it wanted. Luckily, as I was processing this a man hopped onto the treadmill next to me to try out some trainers and there's nothing that gets the legs pumping like some competitive man-baiting. He got chicked and then some.

After six minutes I hit the stop button and nearly collapsed. After mopping up the puddle I'd created with some blue paper towel the university peeps did some maths and told me my results. As if we didn't know: I'm awesome. I scored a 55. Go me... actually what does that mean? They then showed me this chart which explained it all:

I did a little dance and then I ran 2 miles home. Badass.

Keep calm and run strong

2011-10-19T10:29:00.000+01:00

The 24 hours leading up to a race have always been a stressful and anxious time for me. Have I remembered by running shoes? Did I pack my race number? Where did I put my timing chip? All this nervous energy is wasted energy that won't be put to good use where it matters: on the course.

A few weeks back I had a bad cold that left me wiped out for three whole days. I also had a half-marathon to run. I'd laid in bed for two days and needed to dose myself up on all the cold remebies I could scrounge together to make it back to Peterborough for my niece's birthday. This was also where the half marathon was. As I was about to head out the door my kit wasn't in my bag, I didn't think I'd be well enough to run. But at the last minute I picked up my shoes and shorts, just in case.

48 hours later I was lining up at the start of my half-marathon. It wasn't until the morning of the race that I realised I could actually run it, and I'd therefore sidestepped all the stress and worry about what kit I might have forgotten and what training I hadn't done. What's more the only thing I forgot was my energy gels, but a few jelly beans handed out by spectators did the job just as well.

The moral of the story is this: chill out. Do what you need to do to help you do that - this might mean setting all your kit out the night before the race or even sleeping in your kit and setting five alarms. But remember that it's only a race, it's supposed to be fun and there'll be others. Keep calm and run strong.

Parkrun Brockwell Park

2011-10-17T12:02:00.000+01:00

A crisp autumn morning is good for two things, staying in bed admiring the blue sky from the comfort of under the duvet or heading to the park for a race. I chose the later of those two things on Saturday and took my legs (still wearing shorts) for a 5k in Brockwell Park.

The ParkRun at Brockwell Park in South London were a friendly lot. I chatted to the race officials before we started who told me where the hills on the course were (kilometres 1-5 it turned out) and where the finish was.

Then we were off. It was the first proper chilly start I've had this autumn and the cold air hitting the back of my throat and filling my lungs made the first mile uncomfortable. Unsure where to place or how to pace myself I started ridiculously close to the front of the field and for the first 400m was the lead woman. I decided to count how many women went past me with the aim of letting no more than nine get by for a top 10 finish. As the first woman went past so did a man running in shoes, a shirt and formal trousers - apparently he's a regular and pretty quick too.

At mile one we were heading up the main hill for the first time. My thighs joined my lungs in burning with every step and then I started to need the toilet. A toilet stop behind a bush isn't uncommon for me during a race, but it might have been the first documented account of someone having to stop for the loo during a 5k. Luckily I'd trained for this specific eventuality a few weeks earlier when my flatmate was having a bath as I was about to head off on a 3-miler.

By the second lap two more women had gone past me. I remembered why I don't race 5Ks - because you have to run quick. No gossiping about boys in this race like I'd done for most of the half-marathon of the week before. Two more women ran past as we approached the hill for the second time and I could hear another close behind me. Though I hate running up hills, I'm not too bad at it so I knew I could keep women number six behind me and not let the one ahead get away.

As we reached the top of the hill the finish was in sight at the bottom, but my legs had nothing left for making the most of the downhill. I crossed the line having been overtaken by a lot of people but having given everything. My time 23:22, and I was the 6th woman home. It was a PB, but given that I've never run a timed 5K before, it was always going to be.

It was a challenging course, but a nice route round a lovely park. And as it's a ParkRun it's completely free and organised by very friendly volunteers. Find your local ParkRun and help support it by running and volunteering.

Paul Radcliffe History Stands

2011-10-13T22:22:00.000+01:00

Paula Radcliffe speaking at the Nike Run Club in Stratford on 13 Oct. Filmed by lazygirlrunning.com

Winter kit on the cheap

2011-10-12T16:00:00.000+01:00

Running can be pretty cheap if you can manage to reign inyour spending on overseas races, expensive compression clothing and the latestmust-have gadgets. And this week two stores will be helping make it slightlyless expensive to run through the winter by hooking you up with some of thecheapest kit going. Aldi and Lidl both have running gear in store from Thursday13 October. But get there quick because, if past year’s are anything to go by,it will go fast.

Lidl running top £8.99

Lidl running tops £14.99

Lidl compression top £9.99

Aldi running base layers £8.99 each

Aldi running jackets £15.99 each

Aldi running accessories £2.99

Awesome update

2011-10-12T12:00:00.000+01:00

Coming away from the Great Eastern Run at the weekend without a PB (unless I resort to claiming it as a half-marathon with a cold PB) means I still have two PBs to find and less than two weeks to find them if I'm to bag myself an awesome this autumn.

So race listings have been browsed, reviews read and decisions made. I will be making my debut on the parkrun scene this weekend and lining up for a free 5k race around a London park in search of PB number two.

Despite living less than two miles from the start of one for three years and carrying a card in my purse for as long, I'm embarrassed that I haven't made it to a parkrun event before now. They're free events organised by volunteers that are accurately measured and timed. Mo Farrah has been known to turn up at the Bushy Park event on occasion and if they're good enough for Mo they're in all honesty probably a bit too good for me.

But this weekend I will change all that. And now that I have pledged my allegiance to this weekend's parkrun, I can't exactly go back on my word and expect to show my face round here again can I?

If you haven't heard of parkrun before, go check them out now. They have events all over the country (and abroad) and anyone is welcome to run or help out. If you have run a parkrun race before, let me know below which one you did.

Running will not make you fat

2011-10-11T09:30:00.001+01:00

"Hey, did you know that food makes you fat?"
"No way!"
"It's true, I read it in a newspaper."
"Oh my God. I'm giving up food."
"Me too. I mean, we'll probably die, but at least we won't be fat right?"

It's irresponsible and wrong, when we're constantly being told that the nation is in the middle of an obesity epidemic to run the headline 'Does running make you fat?'.

Here's the answer: no. No, it doesn't. Food can make you fat if you eat too much of the wrong type, but running isn't going to make you fat.

The basis for the article in the Independent seems to be the fact that its writer Sophie Morris trained for a marathon and didn't lose weight. Shocker! Could that be because, as she describes, her response to getting up at 6am to run was to eat two breakfasts or the fact that she stopped taking the stairs because she was running and that was a good excuse. Running isn't to blame for you failing to lose weight, Sophie, you are.

The article also makes the mistake of assuming that the only reason people run is to lose weight: not to improve their mood, improve their fitness, to challenge themselves or for the sheer enjoyment of it. It goes on to cite a study of 464 overweight women which found that 'those who exercised did not lose significantly more weight than the inactive participants.' No mention of whether it improved their fitness and general health.

Running is the most accessible sport going. You don't need a lot of kit, you can do it anywhere and you can do it whenever you want, on your own or with other people. To suggest, through misleading headlines, that it is bad for you is irresponsible in that it's putting off people who if they hadn't seen a copy of the Independent today, might have started exercising.

Let's be clear on two things: if you want to lose weight running WILL help you, but you need to adjust your diet too. But there's also a huge misconception in this country that being overweight automatically means you're unfit or unhealthy. I've watched a fair few marathon runners who are faster than me that will prove otherwise.

Great Eastern Run 2011 race report

2011-10-10T12:36:00.002+01:00

The days prior to a race should be spent resting up, drinking plenty of fluid and eating well. So that's what I did. I laid in bed for two whole days straight shivering, sweating and aching; ate handfuls of ibuprofen tablets; and drank plenty of Lemsip. I had a cold and the Saturday night prior to the race I most definitely wasn't taking part. But on Sunday morning, not feeling too shabby, I decided I may as well put my running kit on and see how things went from there.

It really isn't too clever to race if you've been ill so I have to put in bold: Don't try this at home!

The best laid plans of mice and runners are liable to get messed up by seasonal viruses, so with a PB very much not mine for the taking, the plan now was to stick with a couple of injured guys who were aiming to bring it home in just under two hours.

We set off past Ron Hill and Sally Gunnell who were starting the event led out by Liz Yelling who would go on to win the women's race. My legs felt good and had forgotten all about (and forgiven me for) the Nottingham marathon four weeks earlier. My chest, however, wasn't as keen to be out of bed and running a half-marathon.

At around two miles my friend Katie who had picked her way through the crowd caught up with us, so our merry band of four carried on towards the first support crew stop of the day. Between the four of us we saw our support crews weilding jelly beans and offering high-fives about ten times round the course which is what makes local events pretty great.

At half way Neil, our pacesetter and motivator, told us to pick up the pace. But the previous four miles of testing out whether 9 minute miling was a conversational pace by gossiping with Katie had taken their toll and, while my legs were keen, my lungs were already protesting.

Somewhere in the next couple of miles Katie dropped off the back slightly and I stopped communicating in anything other than grunts and hand signals. By mile 11 I was mentally hanging on to Neil and Steve, and using them to hide from the wind. But with a mile to go it was clear we were going to come home in under two hours.

With one last surge the three amigos got our gun time as well as our chip time under the two hour mark, crossing the line together holding hands. Katie was just a minute behind us to bag herself a new half-marathon PB and join the sub-two crew.

The lesson I take away from this race isn't that it's possible to race after you've been wiped out with a cold for two days. It's that having a couple of good pacers can make a huge difference - if not to your performance, then certainly to your enjoyment of a race. If I'd run this alone it probably would have been a pretty miserable day at the office.

Looking after your feet

2011-10-04T12:06:00.000+01:00

If Fred Astaire had a nephew he probably wouldn't race him across a lawn barefoot. Fred apparently insured his feet for $65,000, which was a lot of money in Fred's era. It's a lot of money now but in the days of J-Lo insuring her arse for $1m, it doesn't seem so much.

Fred's insurance policy probably had a few clauses in it, such as don't race your nephew across a lawn barefoot and don't travel on the London Underground. And rightly so because it's important for dancers to look after their feet. It's important for runners too.

When I went to the chiropodist the other week she gave me a lot of good advice like tighten your laces to stop your feet falling forward, it's OK to wear heels but not all the time, get some brogues and stop running. I obviously ignored all of this. She didn't however let me in on the lessons that I've learnt the hard way this week. Number one: don't run across a lawn barefoot in October. Depite the unseasonably warm weather we're having, conker season is already upon us. This is something I was alerted to as I trood on a spikey conker case on Sunday.

Lesson two: don't travel on the London Underground at rush-hour, not if you don't want people to repeatedly stand on your toes. Fred wouldn't have got the underground across London yesterday morning. He's have danced his way to work instead. Or, you know, maybe he'd have got a cab.

London's not the only marathon

2011-09-29T15:40:00.002+01:00

So you didn't get into the 2012 London marathon through the ballot, join me and the thousands of other runners that are feeling a bit miffed at the moment.

But it doesn't have to be the end of your marathon dream. Did you know that other marathons in the world actually exist? It's true, I've checked with Wikipedia and they've confirmed that there are actually other 26.2 mile races out there. Here's a few...

Edinburgh marathon, 27 May - for a start I'll be there. So, see you Jimmy. It's a spring marathon like London which means it's the perfect motivator/albatross to make you run in the winter months when you'd much rather be at home watching all those DVD boxsets you got for Christmas.

Paris marathon, 15 April - it's so close to the date of the London marathon that you'll be training at the same time as the hoards who are running VLM, but with the benefit of a trip to Paris. Just imagine all the cheese and wine you'll be justified in eating at the finish. Tres bon!

Shakespeare marathon, 29 April - it's my theory that a lot of people are put off this event by the title, but there's no reading required, unless you want to. A 26.2 mile run round Stratford and a smaller field than London, so when your mates say they came 23,542nd at VLM - you can say you came 234th in your marathon.

Manchester marathon, 29 April - never heard of it? That's because the race has had a 10-year absence from the marathon calendar. But this year it's back and the organisers are promising a fantastic event.

How to look awesome

2011-09-27T14:50:00.001+01:00

Hair pulled back, no make-up on, sweat dripping off your chin - you might think that you running is you looking your worst, but I disagree. There's a shelf in my mum's house with four pictures on. Three are wedding pictures of my sister and two brothers on their wedding days and they look nice. The fourth has a picture of me in it. I have sweat all over my face, snot on my t-shirt and a cap covering messy hair.

In reality, I don't look the best I ever have and it's definitely not how I'd choose to look for going on a date/going to court/picking up my OBE (only the second one of these is likely in the near future). But at the same time I look pretty awesome. I'm half way round my first marathon and I'm smiling.

But wait, didn't I write a while back that running won't make you look hot? That's correct. It won't, not in the way that conforms to conventional respesentations of 'hotness' presented to us in magazines and on TV. But looking awesome if different to looking hot.

If you're one of the people who only run at the gym or after dark through fear of being seen running and sweating by people that aren't, get over it. Or worse, maybe you're one of those people that runs with full make-up and perfect hair without it ever getting messed up. True story: last week I saw a woman running with her hair in a beehive and full make-up, neither of which were going anywhere because there was no sweat and no effort.

If you're bothered how you look when you're running along, you're going to hold something back. Sweat is the sign of a good run. The more you sweat, the more impressed you should be with your reflection. And remember, it's not sweat - it's awesome juice.

So, next time you get home from a long run, go stand in front of the mirror and if you've worked hard and sweated hard, no matter what shape or size you are, repeat after me: "This is what awesome looks like."

New world records and PBs

2011-09-26T12:18:00.002+01:00

Setting the alarm to go off on a Sunday morning for earlier than it does on a weekday is something I don't do very often. If the little hand is pointing to a number that doesn't have a one in front of it when I open my eyes on a Sunday, there had better be something pretty spectacular going on.

Yesterday was the Berlin marathon. The men's and women's world record holders were both in town and needed to qualify for their respective national teams for London 2012. Berlin is a fast flat course. Something spectacular was on the cards.

Unfortunately German efficiency let us down on the coverage front. Most of the men's race was viewed from the helicopter camera which made it feel we were watching 'Cops with Cameras' and a few glipses of the women's race were all we caught before the finish.

But what a race, the men's race was. World record holder Haile Gabrselassie pulled out, started again then pulled out again. Patrick Makau sets a new men's world record. Paula holds on to grab third place and a spot at London 2012. It had it all, if only we'd been able to see more of it.

Inspired, I headed out for a 12 mile run. Somehow it wasn't even 11 o'clock yet but I'd already watched a whole marathon. My legs seem to have forgotten about their own marathon two weeks ago and were charging off as though a new world record were in their grasp too. It seems they're yet to catch on that we have a half marathon in two weeks time and a PB to smash.

One thought kept going through my mind the whole way 'Don't leave your race out on a training run'. So unable to stop my legs from running fast, I forced them to walk twice. Let's hope they don't hold this against me at the Great Eastern Run.

The new lexicon of running

2011-09-23T13:39:00.000+01:00

There's no collective noun for getting three PBs in a six week period. I've checked and it doesn't exist. If I were a footballer I might say things like "I'm going to score a hat trick this weekend" which you'd rightly interpret as meaning "I'm going to score three goals in one match" or the more commonly correct "I'm going to sleep with three women none of whom are my wife".

But I'm not a footballer: I'm a runner and this autumn I'm attempting to run three new PB's over three different distances all in a six-week period. However, having to explain that has taken up valuable time I could have been using for speed drills or playing GrimJoggers on my iphone (FYI fun game - like Lemmings but with joggers).

I need a short word that explains this all in one short bust of breath or typing. Imagine if the collective noun for a group of lions didn't exist. Instead of shouting "watch out for that pride" you'd have to scream "look out for the group of lions that live together some of whom may be related via the dominant male" by which stage whoever you were trying to warn would likely be the pride's breakfast.

The next time I'm running alongside someone and they ask me "Are you training for anything?" I could be dangerously out of breath by the time I explain my intended goal. So to this end, and for the benefit of others out there who may also be attempting this same feat, I've taken it upon myself to establish a new word for this stuff. Soon runners all over the land will be chatting like this:

"Are you training for anything at the moment?"
"Yes, I'm hoping to bag myself an awesome this winter."
"Wow. Three PBs over varying distances all in six weeks. Good luck with that. Sounds.... welll.. awesome."
"Yeah. That's probably why they called it that."

So with a marathon PB already in the bag, I just need to run a half marathon under 1.56 and a 10k under 51 minutes and I've got myself the world's first awesome.

Marathon running: the feminist sport

2011-09-22T10:34:00.002+01:00

It's within living memory that women were banned from running marathons. Our bodies were deemed not strong enough and we'd hurt ourselves and, God forbid, maybe even mess up our reproductive system. As women always knew and the world has now acknowledged, this is nonsense that served only to segregate men and women and keep marathon running as the preserve of 'big strong men'.

The trailblaizers of women's marathon running: Roberta Gibb ran Boston marathon unofficially three times, Katherine Switzer who famously ran Boston marathon with a number but had to battle officials who ran onto the course to physically try to remove her from the race and Stamata Revithi (AKA Melopomene) who apparently ran alongside the first marathon of the modern Olympics, were after one thing - the right to run just like men.

Nina Kuscsik was the first female winner of the Boston Marathon when women were finally allowed to take part in 1972. Her winning time for the 1972 New York City Marathon was on the slow side as the women had a sit-down strike for ten minutes after the gun went off to protest women's inequality in marathon running. It was another 12 years before Joan Benoit Samuelson became the first woman to win an Olympic marathon gold medal when women were finally allowed to run the 26.2 mile race in the 1984 games.

Given the exclusion of women from the sport of marathon running for so long it's no surprise that a gap of 12 minutes separates the men's and women's world records. When the Olympics come round or one of the top men in the world line up to compete in Berlin or London (fast world-record courses) all the talk is of when a man will break the 2-hour barrier for the marathon.

A much more pertinent question is when women will close the gap on the men's record. Because, unlike sprinting where men's physiological advantage when it comes to strength and size give them a head start, marathon running is more of an even playing field. In fact, some evidence suggests that women's ability to tolerate suffering and a 'window' after pregnancy when women seem to be able to run much better, might even work in our advantage.

So, it saddened and angered me this week when the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) decided that only races run by women in a single-sex environment should be allowed to stand as world records. This would mean that Paula Radcliffe's 15min 25sec record set while racing alongside male athletes in London in 2003 no longer be regarded as the women's world record but instead become a "world best".

Instead Radcliffe's time of 2:17:42 becomes the official world record - a move backwards on the clock and in time to an era that we thought had been put behind us. Radcliffe stated in an interview with Runners' World that it hadn't been her choice to use a pacer when she set her world record but that of the race organisers, and furthermore she'd perposely run alongside the pacer, never behind him.

But had she wanted to use a pacer, as the fastest woman in the world with only men faster than her - shouldn't she be allowed to use a male pacer? Given the headstart that men have had when it comes to running marathons, the gap between men and women won't be closing any time soon unless we can all run together.

The Fens vs The Rift Valley

2011-09-21T11:29:00.002+01:00

The dominance of Kenyans in long distance running has been the subject of much debate: is it a genetic advantage? Is it a product of their environment? Is there some magical secret to the way they train? If we moved to Kenya and trained with Kenyan runners, could we be as good as them? I don't know the answer to any of these questions, but I do know that I've never heard of an Olympic marathoner from The Fens.

When many people look at my motherland they see it as flat and barren. But they, of course, are wrong. If you want a good view in most places in the UK you have to go up something high like a hill or a tower or a tall person. Not so in The Fens. Without useless things like high ground to get in the way you can see for miles from pretty much anywhere.

This does have two distinct disadvantages, however. Firstly, when learning to drive a car you have to practice hill starts in a multi-storey car park. This is a true story, I've done this crap. Secondly hill training is, well, pretty impossible.

True story number two involves me falling off a bike. I was in my first year at university and I needed to get a book from the library before it closed. So I borrowed a bike from someone in my halls so I could get there quickly, check the book out and write my essay for the next day.

The plan was flawless. But the library at Loughborough University is at the top of a hill. Not a big hill, but a hill all the same. Being from The Fens I'd never cycled up a hill in my life and as a result I'd rarely had to change gear. Half way up the hill to the library I ground to a halt, toppled over and fell into a bush. I learnt a valuable lesson that day: there's a bus that will take you straight to the library.

Ten years later I seek out hills to run up. But if the theories behind why Kenyan runners are quite so good have any truth in them, being born and bred in Peterborough has already set me a at huge disadvantage. But without hills, we have some the quickest courses in the UK and that's why every year I make the pilgrimage home to run the Great Eastern Run half marathon.

In 2010 the Great Eastern Run recorded the second fastest half marathon time in the country: 62min 16secs. That was run by Edwin Kipyego. Yes, he's from Kenya.

Running heroes: Caballo Blanco

2011-09-20T13:53:00.002+01:00

In Christopher McDougall's best seller 'Born to Run' he travells to the depths of Mexico to find "the phantom known as Caballo Blanco - the White Horse". An American man who had lived with the Tarahumara, a 'tribe' of people who can run 50, 100 miles, even more without seeming to get injured, Caballo Blanco was, in McDougall's description, the key to unlocking the secrets of the Tarahumara. My journey to meet Caballo Blanco (or Micha True) was slightly less ardjuous - he was giving a talk just over a mile from my flat.

"I left my beard and my loin cloth back at home". Caballo didn't look at all like the images stirred up by 'Born to Run'. He looked like a regular ultra runner: tanned from time spent on the trails, lean but muscular and dressed in shorts, t-shirt and some minimal shoes. The shoes were what the crowd were eyeing. The room was full of Vibrams and it wasn't long before he was asked about his thoughts on barefoot running.

"It's a tool and like all tools it's useful. It's important to strengthen your feet, but it's not a cure all for everything. There's a place for shoes. I like lightweight shoes but I like cheap and free. Sometimes this minimalist shoe movement is quite maximal in terms of capital."

In what could have been a reference to other runners who featured in 'Born to Run', Caballo made one thing clear: "I'm not here to sell you shoes. I'm here to talk about the Raramuri." Asked about his feelings about the international bestseller Caballo says: "there's things I'm happy with and things I'm not happy with and it's up to me to take this voice and to spread the word of the Raramuri and the people who have inspired this book."

Although McDougall acknowledges at the start of his book that the Tarahumara is the name Mexicans gave to the tribe and that Raramuri is the name they call themselves, he continues to refer to them as Tarahumara.

His first encounter with the Raramuri was during the Leadville 100 - a notorious 100 mile race. "I was running down the mountain feeling pretty good and some old guy in a skirt came running past me. He greeted me saying 'queervo' which is their equivilent of 'hello' but which means 'we are one'. Well, we were one for a while and then he took off and went on to win the race. This was a 100 mile race won by a 55 year old guy."

Caballo travelled to the Copper Canyon in Mexico where the Raramuri live. Through economic and social pressures they've been forced to work in low paid jobs and move away from their small social groups resulting in them running much less. An accomplished ultra runner himself, Caballo's mission has been to encourage the Raramuri to run more through his annual Copper Canyon Ultra Marathon - the race that is central to McDougall's story.

The race takes place every year and everyone who finishes wins corn, with the international runners giving all prizes back to the local Raramuri people. "The Raramuri in their small communities are invited to come and run with us, and they have a choice. So far I have seen change in a positive way. The people are running again and they are taking pride in who they are and that's a really beautiful thing. I hope to keep it going for as long as we can."

Caballo Blanco's love for running and his respect for, and desire to help, the Raramuri was infectious. The message that I took away from his vast experience of running and living with these people was this: "If you eat the good food and live the good life and have love for other people: you win."

To find out more about Caballo's race, visit his website. and if you want to catch one of his talks while he's in the UK, go here.

Best Monday ever

2011-09-19T23:08:00.000+01:00

They say your shouldn't meet your heros because they'll only disappoint you. Not true. Tonight I met running legend Caballo Blanco (or Micha True) who features in the Holy Grail of running books 'Born to Run'. It didn't disappoint. Hearing the story of 'Born to Run' told in person from Micha's perspective was inspiring and left me wanting to run the Copper Canyon. [Full post on the talk to follow.]

After the talk I got home to find I'd been shortlisted for Cosmopolitan magazine's blog awards. This is a pretty bloody good Monday. Thanks to everyone that nominated me.

And if you come back and leave me a comment to tell me that you threw a vote or two my way, one of you will be chosen at random for a pretty awesome prize that I've got. Excited? You should be! In the meantime I'll be practicing my gracious loser face.

In praise of support crews

2011-09-15T13:20:00.000+01:00

I'm getting to that age where it's time to face facts: there's a strong possibility that I may not actually ever become a rock star, accept an Oscar or win an Olympic gold medal. But that's OK because I pretty much know how that would feel. I have heard crowds of people applauding me and shouting my name and it was pretty damn good. And I can get that any time I want - all I have to do is run.

So it's time to put your hands together people and show some support for the supporters. The people that turn out to watch you race, giving up the best part of their Sunday to clap and scream your name, sometimes accompanied by snacks or even holding an amusing sign.

If there's one thing I've learnt from Dean Karnazes book 'Ultramarathon Man', it's that you can never be too old to have your parents cheering you on from the sidelines. So as well as the hundreds of strangers that have made some noise for me, I have my own support crew of two. They cheered me through Nottingham marathon last weekend and will be at my half back in the home town next month.

However, there's a fine line to be walked between 'supporter' and 'enabler'. A supporter says: 'Yeah, you can do it'. An enabler says: 'Hey, why don't you do this. Those people are and they're cool. Go onnnnnnn'. At 17 miles last Sunday my mum supported me with this very useful advice: "Just focus on that gentleman's lovely arse and follow it to the finish".

But by the finish she was starting to show signs of becoming a marathon enabler. She'd seen the Venice marathon 2012 advertised while booking her annual trip to Italy and thinks "it sounds lovely". I hadn't even taken my compression socks off yet and she was already trying to sign me up for marathon number four. Anyone know the Italian for 'Come on Laura'?

Please vote for me in the Cosmo Blog Awards. I'm the only runner in the 'Health, Diet and Fitness' category.

Operation get legs working again

2011-09-14T10:19:00.000+01:00

There's a photo on my phone of my toes. I took it last night with the intention of adding it to this post. But I can't do that to you guys. My toes look horrendous enough from up here where my face is, turns out that the resulting picture taken from just a few inches away is even worse. So the fact that my aching body hasn't been able to lower my face far enough to get a good look at my feet has been a blessing in disguise.

Think I'm exaggerating? Remember that I posted a photo of what I look like sans make-up post 15 miles of running in the sun. That I'm not ashamed of, my feet however are at risk of being taken off me by feet social services for a serious case of neglect.

But one lucky woman will be getting all up in by feet's business later on when for the first time in my life I pay a visit to a chiropodist. However much she's planning on charging me definitely won't be enough for what she's about to get involved with. This will be stage three of 'Operation get legs working again'.

Stage one of my recovery plan was not fun: foam rollering began on Monday a mere 24 hours after the marathon. Stage two had to wait until the swelling of my feet had subsided enough to get actual shoes on, this happened last night and I trotted out for an hour-long walk.

Now my legs can walk free from pain it's time to tackle the feet. I'm not looking forward to the chiropodist visit, nor am I looking forward to adding another person to the list of people that I pay to tell me off (currently dentist, hairdresser, beautician, physio). But all being well I'll make it to stage four - a short run - by Sunday.

Please vote for me in the Cosmo Blog Awards. I'm the only runner in the 'Health, Diet and Fitness' category.

Nottingham marathon race report

2011-09-12T11:10:00.000+01:00

Marathons don't accept excuses. There's no shortcuts and no miracles, you get what you deserve. That's the way I like it and that's why I walk away from Nottingham without my sub-4 time and accept my 4.17, if not happily, then graciously. Because I know, on this occasion, it wasn't on the cards because I didn't put the hard work in.

4.17 is a PB of 14 mins, but it's not all I'd hoped it would be. Yes, it was windy and yes, it was hillier than I'd planned for, but no excuses: my training just didn't warrant a sub-4 this time. I should have accepted this sooner. Instead I went through the first (hilly) half in 2 hours which meant a lot of suffering in the second half.

Nottingham was a bitch and it punished me for every hill training session I've missed. You know the Penrose Steps? It's the optical illusion of a never ending staircase. That's what Nottingham was like. The start, half-way point and the finish were all at the same places so laws of geography should dictate that for every uphill there is an equivalent downhill. It didn't seem that way to my legs.

Between miles 9 and 13 the most boring man in the world was running behind me. That sort of thing you can't train or plan for. He was giving some poor guy a lecture about nutrition for a good few miles before discussing how much he's earnt at various jobs he's had and then going on (after we all had to step aside for an ambulance to get through) about how he'd seen a guy get defibrillated at London Marathon. Really dude, do you think any of us wanted that vision in our minds while running our legs off?

After 5,500 half-marathoners turned off for their finish, it was a lonely 1,400 that carried on for the rest of the course. And this was where it started to go a bit wrong for me. I made it to where my family waited excitedly at 17 miles before my speed took a nosedive.

17 miles in

The hills had destroyed my legs and they weren't going to recover. After mile 17 I had to accept that sub-4 was not going to happen today. But once your goal has slipped away it's difficult to keep on keeping on. Sub 4.10 was always the Plan B and something I'd have been happy with, but as I turned onto the rowing lake and hit the mile-long wind tunnel of doom, that too vanished into the distance.

My family were the stars of the day and officially the hardest working spectators on the course. They made it to miles 17, 20, 23 and the finish to cheer on me and any other runner going past all without using any banned substances. To be fair though I did give them a fighting chance by slowing considerably between these markers. Without them those wind tunnel miles would have been much harder.

It was a long slog back along the River Trent to the finish from here on with some of the hardest 5 miles I've ever run stretched out in front of me. But I made it to the end and took my medal and my PBs with honour.

Yes, that's right - PB plural. The 14 minutes I knocked of my Brighton marathon time was only the second PB of the day. The first? Only one toilet/bush stop on the marathon. This is the second time that Nottingham has been exposed to my bare rear end in the past couple of months after my skirt blew up while I was drunk on a night out there (see 'reasons why I didn't go sub-4').

PB number three is for the number of black toenails I now have - five trumps the three I got in Brighton. Now I hope pick up one last PBs from Nottingham. After Brighton marathon I was back in heels in five days. I'm hoping to knock a good half day off of that record this week. My toes feel differently about this.

Thanks to everyone who nominated me for Cosmopolitan magazine's awards. Now please vote for me in the Cosmo Blog Awards. I'm the only runner in the 'Health, Diet and Fitness' category.

Marathon training film

2011-09-09T13:37:00.001+01:00

Psyching myself up for the marathon on Sunday by watching something I made last year while training for Brighton marathon. It's a good way of shaking a few extra quid from people's pockets if you're fundraising for your marathon. Anyway, I thought you might enjoy this...

Dude, where's my carbs?

2011-09-08T11:05:00.001+01:00

Flashback: it's 2010 and I'm sat in a Travelodge in Brighton trying to force down a packet of Hoola Hoops and a Muller Rice before I'm done for the evening. It's 8pm and carb loading hasn't been everything I'd hoped and dreamed it would be.

That was the eve before my first marathon. I'd been excited at the prospect of carb loading - while it seemed like the whole world was going low-carb, I would be demanding cakes, biscuits, bread, chips. I love eating and for three whole days anything that contained carbohydrates would not be safe from me. Mwah, ha ha!

But I soon discovered that eating is only fun when you're hungry. When you're not hungry and you know you need to find another 200 calories before bedtime, it becomes a somewhat sad affair: a bit like a date with someone who's really attractive but just a little bit dumb and boring. You go through the motions but you're heart isn't really in it.

Today marks the start of Carbella 2011 and it didn't get off to a good start - the local Tesco doesn't stock Jaffa Cakes. Maybe they couldn't decide whether they should sit with the cakes or the biscuits and gave up (obviously cakes). But that isn't going to help me meet my 900 extra calories that I'm reliably informed I need to eat.

To make this an even more impossible task, I'm taking a photo of everything I eat this week, so you can live follow my carb loading, if you so wish and you have nothing better to do, on Flickr . So far I've been eating a lot of circular food. Suggestions of triangular and square high-carb foods welcome.

Tapering continued

2011-09-06T09:49:00.002+01:00

Are you suffering from trouble sleeping, phantom leg pains and reoccurring dreams? Then you too may be suffering from taper madness. Don't worry though, it's 100% curable with just one dose of running a marathon. I'm booked in for treatment on Sunday and I'm told it will take about 4 hours.

It can't come soon enough. Last night, in my dream, I was struggling to put on my running shoes so I could run away from the T-Rex that was about to crash through the roof of my parents' house. For some reason dream me had decided that Vibrams would be best for running away from a dinosaur, which meant a 10 minute delay as I tried to get my toes into their specific compartments. This, in retrospect, was not the best decision I've made in a dream. It doesn't take Frasier Crane to decipher the meaning here: scary dinosaur = the marathon.

But at least I am managing to sleep, which is good because between not running and not drinking I'm at a loss for things to do. Last night I managed a good nine hours sleep - go me! That will soon stop as we get closer to Sunday, so I'm soaking up every available bit of sleep I can get. Leg pains have been a problem though. This week alone I've self diagnosed myself with everything from a ruptured achilles to gangrene - top tip: don't do that image search if you want to hold on to your breakfast.

As I enter the final stage of taper madness I can look forward to one last symptom: the urge to run 26.2 miles. I'm expecting that to arrive sometime on Friday lunchtime but to have conveniently disappeared by Sunday morning. There's also carb loading to get through - which, I found last year, isn't as fun as you might think. To make it even less fun I'm be repeating my photo food diary this week so you can see every last Jaffa Cake.

If you haven't already, you can still nominate me for the Cosmos blog awards.

Body image and the big bad wolf

2011-09-02T11:54:00.002+01:00

Do you like your body? If we are to believe what women's magazines tell us, most of you are thinking no right now. I bloody love mine and for someone whose body caused her to be picked on at school for being spotty, ginger and being too skinny, I think that's quite an achievement. Especially as I still have a few spots, still have ginger hair and still have sparrow legs.

How did this happen? Well, partly I stopped caring what anyone else thought but mainly I ran a marathon. It's difficult to be down on your body when you realise it can do pretty impressive things like run for 26.2 miles without stopping.

Remember Red Riding Hood? She was a bit of a bitch really. She goes round to her grandma's place, granted it's actually a wolf who has just eaten her gran but she doesn't know that, and she starts criticising her gran's appearance. "What big eyes you have, what big teeth you have, what big ears you have". If any of my grandchildren said that to me they'd be disinherited on the spot.

But the wolf has the best come-back ever: "All the better for eating you with". Too bad that woodcutter comes along and puts a stop to that plan. Sorry, should I have issued a 'spoiler alert'? So, whether it's you're grandaughter, a 'friend' or that voice in your head that's criticising you, be the wolf.

"What big legs you have." "All the better for running a marathon with."

"What flabby arms you have." "All the better for elbowing you out the way at the start of a race with."

"What a large arse you have." "All the better for kicking your ass in a 10k with."

Because if you've ever stood on the sidelines and watched a marathon, a half-marathon or a 10k, you'll notice something pretty good: runner's come in all shapes and sizes. Size six or size 16 - your body can run a marathon. Your body rocks.

Thanks to everyone who nominated me for Cosmopolitan magazine's awards. Now please vote for me in the Cosmo Blog Awards. I'm the only runner in the 'Health, Diet and Fitness' category.

Alcohol and marathon training

2011-08-31T09:56:00.000+01:00

I've made a sacrifice to the marathon gods: for the past 11 days I have drunk no alcohol. This could have been a challenge, but luckily I have supportive friends and colleagues who, when we went to the pub on Friday night, spent the whole five hours I was there offering me shots, pints of beer, glasses of wine and generally going "go on, one won't hurt". Thanks guys, you rock.

The landlord of the pub did look a little surprised when I refused his free shots, being that I'm usually the one badgering him to line them up.

For most of my marathon training I have conducted a one-woman experiment into the effects of beer, wine and spirits on athletic performance. My findings are that getting drunk on a Friday night and spending the Saturday recovering in time to do a long run on a Sunday morning left very little of the weekend when I wasn't flopping around my flat feeling the after effects of either drinking or running.

Luckily, for us runners who like a drink, the recovery process for both a 20-mile run and a night out on the rum and cokes is pretty similar: rehydration sachets, fried egg sandwich, chocolate milk and a comfortable sofa. So I've kept well stocked on these staples this summer.

What I have concluded though, in all seriousness, is that it's possible to train for a marathon without giving up your social life. Last year training for Brighton I pulled out all the stops, missed many nights out and generally ate, slept and breathed the marathon. This is what I needed to do at the time and that what I was willing to give it. But this time round things were different, there was no possibility of shutting myself off for four months, so I found some middle ground.

While I don't expect anyone to follow my example - my last 20 mile run was preceeded by a Friday night which involved drinking Red Stripe and dancing to power ballads until 3am Saturday morning - I am proof that it's still possible to, in the words of Party Pete "live fast - run fast". Whether that lifestyle will get me a sub-4 marathon still needs to be seen, but either way I have no regrets.

Three weeks out from the marathon, with my head spinning with the effects of Red Stripe and vauge memories of the night before, I swore myself off alcohol. Is it too little too late? I don't think so. Alcohol has given me many things over the years, the belief that I can sing in tune and that the world needs to hear that being just one. But it regularly robs me of three things: a good night's sleep, hydration and the ability to make sensible nutritional choices. A vegetable samosa does not a proper dinner make. With those three things vital in the next 10 days it's goodbye beer, hello early nights. God, it's boring.

Thanks to everyone who nominated me for Cosmopolitan magazine's awards. Now please vote for me in the Cosmo Blog Awards. I'm the only runner in the 'Health, Diet and Fitness' category. Cheers!

In the beginning

2011-08-26T13:50:00.000+01:00

Unless you're one of those annoying people who could run pretty much as soon as they could walk and that always looked forward to the annual school sports day with the excitement that most of us save for Christmas or a pint at the end of a long week, everyone sucks at running when they first start.

I am not one of those people. I skived off school on school sports days. I skived off PE and I couldn't run one lap of the running track without collapsing with a stitch. I also hated the sporty kids because, while me and my frizzy ginger hair and sparrow legs got laughed at, they got applauded.

I'm blessed with many good traits: I look great after running 15 miles, I always have a cheery disposition and I'm always on time. OK, only the last one of those is true but there are some true, if boring and a bit boasty, things on my CV somewhere. One thing I am not, however, is patient. I get bored easily and I'm pretty lazy. So when I decided to start running it didn't make the papers because nobody thought I'd stick to it.

This was my second attempt at starting running. On the first occasion I'd slowly worked my way up to the giddy heights of being able to run 1km without stopping, wearing trainers I now know were two sizes too small before I decided that early retirement was the next logical step for my running career. So when I came out of retirement to give it another shot in 2008, the running world was not worried.

Tidying a drawer today unearthed this. The British Library have already been on at me to get their hands on it. Presumably they want to put it in the case next to Scott's diary of his expedition to the South Pole. But you can see it here now before it goes on display. It's my first week training. The highlight, you'll note, was that I was able to run for 5 minutes non-stop.

On Sunday I ran 20 miles by myself through London and in just over two weeks I'll be lining up for my second marathon and aiming to go sub-4. Did I think, three years ago that either of those things would ever happen? Probably not. But I did want them to be true. And here's the thing I learnt about myself: I'm a stubborn little git, and stubborness trumps over impatience. Stubborness is what gets me through 20 lonely, painful miles.

It's a much over-used phrase (usually by unbelievable actors in weight-loss adverts) but really, if I can do it so can you. You know, if you want to - no pressure.

Thanks to everyone who nominated me for Cosmopolitan magazine's awards. Now please vote for me in the Cosmo Blog Awards. I'm the only runner in the 'Health, Diet and Fitness' category.

Before and after project

2011-08-25T11:20:00.000+01:00

If you're still in denial of the fact that running does not make you look hot, you might like to take a look at the work of artist Sacha Goldberger. He photographed runners to prove just this point (maybe that wasn't his intention but that's what I'm taking from it). He and his team set up an outdoor studio at Bois de Boulogne park, near Paris. They stopped runners and asked them to sprint a few 100m before posing for him. He then asked them to visit his studio a week later dolled up to the nines and pose again.

You can see the interesting results here. Some of the runners look more similar to their normal selves than some of the others do. Maybe they weren't sprinting hard enough or maybe that's just how Parisian runners roll. But that's not how I roll - this is how I roll. It's not a pretty sight, I think you'll agree. Even with make-up.

Thanks to everyone who nominated me for Cosmopolitan magazine's awards. Now please vote for me in the Cosmo Blog Awards. I'm the only runner in the 'Health, Diet and Fitness' category. Because people need to know about my sweaty headshots.

Tapering: Day 3

2011-08-24T15:47:00.000+01:00

On day three of my taper I woke up very tired; ducked out of a 3-mile race I'd challenged three much faster, non-tapering colleagues to; and then I did this...

Edinburgh marathon 2012, see you Jimmy! London marathon is clearly going to reject me again in October and after Nottingham I'm not going to fancy entering any races at all. So I've got in early and given myself no way out of chalking up marathon number three. There are three reasons why this is an amazing idea:

My marathoning is going international - Scotland totally counts as a different country. Especially if I fly there, which I probably won't. And I don't have to bother with a language barrier - well maybe a bit.
Scotland is home of the marathoning food of the gods - porridge.
It's a net downhill course so I'll just wear those wheelie shoes and coast to the finish.

Let's wait and see what delights taper day four bring my way! Maybe I'll buy a puppy, get a radical haircut or start only referring to myself in the third person. The rules of tapering dictate that any slightly out of character neurotic behaviour is possible. It's not me, it's the taper madness.

The rules of tapering

2011-08-22T13:00:00.003+01:00

Despite the best efforts of a tree root in tripping me up and a bus driver in trying to run me over, I made it round my final 20-mile run on Sunday. Now mileage starts to wind down as I slide down the slipppery slope of the tapering with nothing but a tea-tray that is my fragile self-belief to carry me to the bottom in one piece.

Tapering SHOULD be the fun bit of marathon training: less miles, the excitement of the big day getting closer, carb loading. But it doesn't work like that and that's all because the human brain is a complex and mysterious pain in the arse. It will lie to you, it will play tricks on you and it will make you act a little bit crazy.

The problem with tapering is that you've done all the hard work and yet you still know that you might not make it to the start line - and even if you do, you might screw up. Every ache and pain will, in your taper-addled mind, become the beginnings of a catastrophic injury - from a stress fracture to gangrene, my brain has convinced me I had it.

You probably sneeze once a day on your normal life. But tapering your SOB brain will try to tell you that that sneeze you just did, that one right there when you shook some pepper on your lunch, was definitely the beginning of pneumonia and that all hopes of ever running a marathon ever agin are off. And God help your colleagues, friends or fellow commuters if they even dare to sneeze within 10 feet of you. This is where you'll find yourself acting 50 different types of crazy.

After 14 weeks or more of running A LOT, your body may be pleased of the rest but your brain will find this odd. This is because your brain is a dick. It will tel you that you're getting fatter, and less fit, it will try to make you run. So what if your training plan that has been designed by the top running coaches in the world or that hundreds of elite athletes use tappering to prepare them for a big race - your brain knows better right? Your brain will tell you to run, this may be the first time that it has willed you to lace up your trainers instead of lying on the sofa, and it will take all your willpower to ignore it.

For the final three weeks of your schedule there is only one thing you need to remember - that voice in your head is a moron. Don't listen to it. Unless it's telling you to call your mum - that you should probably do.

Thanks to everyone who nominated me for Cosmopolitan magazine's awards. Now please vote for me in the Cosmo Blog Awards. I'm the only runner in the 'Health, Diet and Fitness' category.

Liz Lemon's gift to runners

2011-08-19T12:06:00.002+01:00

No attempt to look at the learnings offered to us runners by American sitcoms of the past couple of decades could or should overlook '30 Rock'. Yeah you've got a lot of race medals, but do you have any Emmys? Didn't think so. Tina Fey does, and so does Liz Lemon.

And so we turn our attention to what Liz Lemon has to teach us about our sport. Pay no attention to Jenna Maroney when she says to Liz:

"It's kind of hard to take life advice from a single woman who is using her treadmill as a hanger for a wedding dress."

Because there's one very important lesson that Liz can teach us. And it's not - don't buy a treadmill because it's a waste of money, especially if you live opposite a park like Liz does. Although that is also true.

No. What Liz Lemon was sent here to teach us is that if you want to be good at something you have to forget about looking hot. Do you think Liz Lemon would have won that Emmy if she'd stopped to pull that bit of lettuce out her hair? Nu-hu. Would she have become head writer on a fictional comedy show heavily based on Saturday Night Live if she'd wasted valuable time checking her clothes for food stains before putting them on in the morning? Get out of town.

What's that you say? Looking hot is the only reason that I started running in the first place, so I could drop a few pounds, fit into some skinny jeans and make my ex regret the day he said: "I think we should see other people". Well I've got bad news for you: running does not make you look hot. It's the opposite of that. because you know that as much as you hang around at the bar across the street from his office, the time you're actually going to bump into that ex is when you've just finished a hard track session and are looking for a discreet place to vomit.

The first rule of marathon training isn't 'buy a sports bra' or 'get your shoes fitted', it is this: accept the fact that your hair will be a mess for the next 3-4 months and get on with it. I can't remember the last time my hair could be described as anything other than birdsnesty. (Yeah it's a word.) But it's ok. Once you recognise that you're going to look gross it frees you up to work harder free, from the shackles of social convention and hygiene. Because that is the way to success.

All your kit smells like a homeless person died in it? No excuse for missing a run - get out there and give me 5 miles at half marathon pace. There's a guy you have a secret crush on at your running club? Put down the mascara - the only thing I want to see on your face is sweat and snot. Your friends are all going to a bar tonight and you want to go too but have to run? Run there and show them how you work those compression socks and wet patches.

Liz doesn't disregard her appearance out of laziness, she know that even the slightest nano-second spent reaching down to do up her zipper could cause her to take her eye off the prize. And thanks to the trail she has blazed, now you know if too. But that still doesn't mean I've forgiven her for this outburst...

Dennis: Hey Dummy, I was just telling these dummies how we used to go to the park and make fun of all the joggers.
Liz: Oh yeah, “I’m gonna run around in a circle so I can live longer.”

Thanks to everyone who nominated me for Cosmopolitan magazine's awards. Now please vote for me in the Cosmo Blog Awards. I'm the only runner in the 'Health, Diet and Fitness' category.

Virtual runners

2011-08-17T09:52:00.002+01:00

I promise this is relevant.

Let's be honest: your friends and family probably don't give a crap about your running. They might have done a while ago, but now they mostly tune out when out talk about it and wonder what they're going to have for their lunch. But don't blame them for this, they just don't get it.

When new parents talk to me about their babies I'm genuinely interested for the first two minutes. I ask questions that I honestly want to know the answer to like: 'What's it's name?' and 'It's a boy right?'. But then I lose interest because I really don't want to hear stories that involve bodily fluids unless it's one of my girl friends telling me about her Saturday night.

This is how non-runners feel when you try to talk to them about running. So when I tell my colleagues 'I ran 20 miles on Sunday in 3 hours 8 mins!' It's kind of like someone saying to me 'My baby was 10lbs and I didn't have an epidural'. Um, well done I think?

But there's a place that, as a runner you can brag about your running to people who know that a 20 mile negative split is the shizzle, or that can offer helpful suggestions if you can't decide what race to do next. I refer, of course, to the twittersphere. How else would you get to know what Paula Radcliffe had for breakfast this morning or what colour trainers Bart Yasso is wearing today without incurring a restraining order?

Last night, for example, was an example of Twitter at it's best. I'd been given 12 hours notice that I needed to look like Elvis for the evening's run with the Hash crew. So I turned to Twitter where runners who understand how important it is to have the right kit were on hand to offer some suggestions [right]. Inspired I think you'll agree. And thanks to them, this scary looking Cinderella did go to the ball afterall.

If I don't already follow you on Twitter, leave your nom du plume in the comments and I'll track you down.

Show me some love and nominate me for the Cosmos blog awards. Or don't, it's your life.

Why Frasier Crane didn't run a marathon

2011-08-15T14:10:00.003+01:00

Have you run a marathon? Yes? Well score one to you, score zero to Dr Frasier Crane. Frasier, like many people, wanted to run a marathon but he never got round to it.

Remember the hilarity that resulted from the hospital mixing him up with another patient who then died? The newspapers and TV stations ran obituaries for Dr Crane and everyone was so relieved when they realised what had happened. Well, appart from the family and friends of the guy that actually did die. But he was only an extra so screw that guy.

Inspired by his fake death, Frasier writes a sort of bucket list. He intends to run the Seattle marathon, but he doesn't. Maybe if Frasier's friends and family had been a bit more supportive of his running ambitions he might actually have got round to it before he died - well, before the show ended. Here's how it went:

Daphne: What happened to your clothes? Did you spill something on yourself?
Frasier: No, I'm going jogging later.
Daphne: No need to be sarcastic. Just give me the clothes and I'll do another load.
Frasier: No, I'm serious Daphne I plan to go running just after I finish writing my obituary.

If you haven't run a marathon, but you'd like to - don't be a Frasier, start training now. Go on. Have unsupportive friends and family? Go prove them wrong. Also, don't wear a tracksuit like the one Frasier is sporting. Seriously, this may have been in the days before wicking technology but the man would have sweated to death in that thing. If you live near me you'd also get mistaken for a looter.

God, I miss Frasier. If I was 20 years older, lived in Seattle and was a fictional character in a long-running TV sitcom, I'd have been all over that man.

The episode was 'The late Dr Crane' if you're wondering. Episode 7 series 8, and yes I should get out more. I hope you're enjoying this spinoff series of posts struggling to fuse running with American sitcoms. Who knows how long it will last. Probably not as long as 'Frasier' but possibly longer than 'Back to you'.

Show some love and nominate me in the Cosmo blog awards.

Preparation, preparation, preparation

2011-08-12T14:52:00.002+01:00

Let's quote Matt Fitzgerald again: "If it does nothing else, a runner's training must make him feel prepared, because if he feels prepared, he is prepared, and if he doesn't, he isn't." Sound advice.

This weekend and next weekend are the last big push of marathon training before the easing back into the leather armchair that is the taper. So with two 20 mile runs promising to punish me for the next two Sundays, it's important that I take these things seriously, respect the distance and prepare for them. This week my preparation has consisted of:

A few drinks on Wednesday that turned into 5 pints and a pub quiz. Unfortunately no questions on the relevance of Joey Tribianni to marathon training so I was useless.
Last night's 5 mile run that was followed by watching The Social Network (review: too much typing, not enough of the rowers) then heading out for last orders and drinking two pints in half an hour.
Drinks tonight with two old friends for some 'catching up' (read: serious drinking).

Next week I'm planning a similar regime that will involve 'catching up' with the London-based home town crew and a Friday night of wall-to-wall power ballads which promises to be the 'greatest night of my life'. All of this is vital preparation for running 20 miles*.

Let's move on from my virtual mentor, Matt Fitzgerald, to another man who has taught me a thing or two. I call him Party Pete but small children like to point at him in the street and refer to him as 'that tall man'. (This is what you get for moaning about being referenced only as 'my colleague'.)

Party Pete (you might want to imagine Yoda for this, but about a mile taller) said to me today: "Live fast, run fast." I think we can all agree that this in not only profoundly deep, but also sound advice.

*Not medically proven. Yet.

Show some love and nominate me in the Cosmo blog awards.

Running through the riots

2011-08-09T20:19:00.002+01:00

If there's an excuse for missing training, I've probably used it. But there's one excuse I won't be using not to run: the riots in London. Because, us Londoners have had to put up with a lot of shit over the years - but we carry on. That's what we're good at. On the morning after the 7/7 bombings, Londoners got up and went to work. They got on the buses and the tube: they wouldn't let a minority of idiots win.

The mobs rioting on the streets are thriving on a power that comes from intimidation and violence. They want us to be scared, because scared we stay at home and leave the streets to them. They want to disrupt our lives and make us take notice of them, and that's exactly why we should carry on as normally as we can while remaining safe.

Tonight I ran at the gym, and this was the view from my treadmill. BBC news showing the destruction. But I want to assure those that aren't in London that the view from my window is very different. Yes, I saw a young woman get mugged by a group of youths last night. Yes, there are sirens and in the distance smoke. But there's also a lot of good, honest Londoners out there that won't stand for this.

All over London, residents are coming out on the street with their brooms, bin bags and gloves to clean up the streets. People are making cups of tea for police officers. Crowds are cheering police and fire crews as they drive through the streets. Communities are standing up for the places where they live.

So, although I ran in a gym today, I will be pack on the streets this week running. As runners, we need to make a stand. These are our streets, we run them every day. There may be hunderds in the mobs in London, but we runners far outnumber them. There are thousands of us. We need to come together, to make our presense on the streets known, to show people that intimidation won't keep us from our daily lives.

So, run safely: run with others, run in a group, run before it's dark - but keep on running. Because we're running - but we're not running away from anything. We're right here and we won't be intimidated.

I'll leave you with a few positive pictures from the past 24 hours...

And this one.

Show some love and nominate me in the Cosmo blog awards.

Sheldon and Penny go running

2011-08-08T08:00:00.002+01:00

It's a close call between what I like more: running or watching American sitcoms. I'd actually like to live in a perpetual cycle of doing one or the other with the only interupptions to this being the occasional power nap. I'd also need someone to bring me food but I'm pretty confident I could negotiate a supermarket shopping App out of the corner of my eye while doing either activity. If it wasn't for things like having to go to work or maintain links with friends and family, my life would be pretty sorted if all I owned was a pair of Brooks, a sports bra and a TV.

The Big Bang Theory is in my Top three US sitcoms. So imagine my excitement when I first watched the episode 'The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification', Penny and Sheldon go for a run (or at least attempt to). It's fair to say that most runners are either a Sheldon or a Penny. Here's there exchange:

Sheldon: Where’s your heart rate monitor?

Penny: I don’t have one

Sheldon: What about your pedometer?

Penny: I don’t have one.

Sheldon: Do you have telematics in your shoes connected to your shoes connected to an iPod?

Penny: No.

Sheldon: But what do you do? You just go out there and gamble about like a bunny?

Penny: No, I just run ‘till I’m hungry then I stop for a bear claw.

Sometimes it's good to be a Sheldon, and other times you need to go out there and run like Penny. However I don't edvocate stretching like Penny is before a run. Or at all really. I'm definitely more of a Sheldon whenit comes to gadgets and round-number-mileage OCD, although I've just looked up what a bear claw is and that does sound like the sort of post-run reward I'm down with too.

Are you a Sheldon or a Penny?

2012 Olympic marathon route in pictures

2011-08-05T05:00:00.001+01:00

In exactly one year's time the women's marathon of the 2012 Olympic games will be underway right here in London. In celebration of this fact, last night I ran one lap of the 8 mile loops that the women's and men's marathon compertitors will do three times on the official course. And for your viewing pleasure - I took some pictures.

Hold on to your hats because this is a marathon post in more ways than one... and it involves me sweating and gurning. If you're watching the event on TV, you might like to add to the fun on the big day by turning the marathon into a drinking game. Why not have a practice now? Drink everytime you see a London landmark.

We start on the Mall, in sight of Buckingham Palace (drink). London Marathon runners will know this as the final yards, so it might be a bit of a head-mess that this is the start as well as miles 2, 10, 18 and 26. Obviously not for me - as London Marathon keeps rejecting me.

A nice open straight for the first few 100m down The Mall takes runners through Admiralty Gate. Nice touch. And then it's past Trafalgar Square and Nelson's Column for the first of a few phallic landmarks we'll be passing (drink twice for those).

We turn down towards the river and once on the Victoria Embankment we head past Cleopatra's Needle which marks the 3, 11 and 19 mile point. You can't see the Needle in this pic, just a scary sphinx, but it is our second phallic landmark.

Now, I tried to stick as close as I could to the actual route the Olympic field will be running, however at one point I did have to divert from the course slightly. See that duel carriageway on the right? To avoid getting run over where it goes under Blackfriars Bridge and there's no path, I had to climb over that wall on the left. See the hight of the wall and see the height of me.

Here we are at the marker of miles 4, 12 and 20. I had to look this up but if you're wondering it's St Benets Metropolitan Welsh Church. I don't know who St Benet is. Do your own research.

Round a corner and this is where the course got a bit interesting for me. The Embankment and Mall are my playground, I run round there a few days a week and it's nice and straight. But the east side of the course is less familiar - it also twists and turns like a rollercoaster. That might rule out and world record breaking performances - that's my excuse anyway. Although I doubt Paula Radcliffe will have to keep getting her map out like I did. So here we are at the money shot - passing the steps of St Paul's Cathederal.

Right, right, left, right, right and we've gone through a street called 'Little Britain' (it wasn't worth a picture) and are at a very uninspired mile 5, 13 and 21 marker (see my face? That's what uninspired looks like). It's opposite a new shopping centre which is why I decided to choose this picturesque Pret a Manger for my background. If you're doing the drinking game stand down for this pic.

So about the course: there's a couple of points where it gets a bit narrow like this just after the Guildhall. Elbows out peeps because you could be getting up close and personal with your fellow competitor.

One of my favourite bits of the course is where it goes through Leadenhall Market. Obviously for the races it will be a lot nicer - they'll have used a hose to flush away the undesirable City boys that you find clogging up the place most evenings. This picture is a bit rubbish but, trust me, it's proper nice like.

We're motoring now so line up those shot glasses because we're about to hit three Landmarks in one. On your left ladies and gents you'll see the Tower of London, in the centre you can see Tower Bridge (Americans, please don't call this London Bridge - it isn't) and by my ear that round thing is where the Mayor works. It's our Town Hall basically.

Nearly there folks. We do a U-turn here and head back west now. And very close to mile 7, 15 and 23 is Monument. Yes, a phallic landmark. You know what to do.

Then it's back through the City before turning left down to the river again. I jumped over the wall again and got a few funny looks but the elite field will go back under Blackfriars Bridge avoiding any wall-climbing. And when they emerge the other side of the bridge they'll be at the mile 8, 16 and 24 marker. Look there's the OXO Tower.

It's a long slow curve from here which will be a relief for the elites after the left, right, left of the city. I could put my map down from here on and bring it home which I appreciated a lot. The pros will all know the way too as this is the final stretch of the London Marathon and the course follows the same route from here. The London Eye marks miles 1, 8, 17 and 25 - we're almost there!

Is that... I think I can see it.. yes it's the finish line. Oh. Bit disappointing for me because they were building stands for a cycling event last night so instead of the Mall, here's St James' Park which is to the right. It has a lake so maybe Halle and pals would like to cool down in it after an Olympic effort.

So there we are. Roll on 5 and 12 August and may the best man and woman win. Should any Olympic hopefuls need a guide to take them round the course before then, just get in touch and try to keep up.

Show some love and nominate me in the Cosmo blog awards.

Running and Friends

2011-08-04T09:19:00.003+01:00

One of the unexpected outcomes of moving 10 minutes from my office is that I've been watching more episodes of Friends recently. Turns out there really isn't anything worth rushing home for TV wise in that 5-6pm slot. And as E4 shows around 5,574 episodes of Friends per week, it really is hard to avoid.

I have a theory that I developed a while ago that there's an episode of Friends relevant to any given situation. Sometimes what it has to teach us isn't that useful - like when I was homeless recently and the Friends episode I watched happened to concern Rachel needing to find somewhere to live. Her salvation took the shape of several men who were secretly in love with her - this did not help me AT ALL. Like I say, relevant but not entirely useful. This is because 75% of the characters on Friends are really annoying. So that's 4.5 of the main six peeps.

However, Joey who is somewhat a Cassandra figure in Friends in that he's largely dismissed does often have sound advice. In the episode 'The one with Monica's thunder' Chandler has a particularly male problem in the bedroom department. He turns to his buddy Joey for advice. Chandler asks him if he's ever experienced this problem himself. "Yeah, once," says Joey. Chandler asks him what he did about it and, as you must remember because this episode has probably been on five times today already, Joey says: "I did it anyway."

Today, looking glumly at my leg I thought to myself 'If Joey had shin splints, what would he do?'. You know what he'd do - he'd run anyway and so will I. And this us why Joey was the only one to get a spinoff series. Shame that didn't work out for him.

Next week: What we can learn about marathon running from Frasier Crane.

Cooler than the red dress

2011-08-03T15:09:00.003+01:00

A pictoral post today, no words necessary really, but if you'd like some - here's a few sung (if not coposed) by the Sugarbabes. But what you've no doubt been waiting for is the picture below. Here's me and MrNiceguy on last nights traditional Red Dress Hash Run. It was really hot last night and I was disappointed that despite being half Scottish, MrNiceguy didn't go 'traditional' under his dress.

Running out of time

2011-08-02T10:41:00.002+01:00

Training plans are rubbish aren't they? It's the way they stare at you making you feel bad, inadequate and underprepared that I hate. It's difficult to argue with them because they don't compromise, however long you stare at the words "8 miles steady" they don't change.

I've tried to avoid crosses on my training plan by using arrows, annotations, excuses and changed numbers, but the fact remains that a tick is a tick and anything else just isn't. After a good 10 minutes of staring from my training plan to my left leg and back at my training plan again, it's time to remind myself that Haile Gabreselassie doesn't use a training plan.

The good thing about being a bit of a geek and logging your runs somewhere other than scraps of paper is that you can find them again. And when you find them again they're not covered in bits of food or scribbled over with nonsense like 'buy food' or 'pay rent'.

So, in need of a reality check and hoping for some reassurance, I looked up last year's runs - the ones I did before my first marathon. Turns out that, even with missing a few sessions, I ran 15 miles more in July 2011 than I did in Feb 2010. My long runs were 2-3 miles longer in 2011 and what's more, I ran my long runs at 1 minute per mile faster. Could sub-4 glory still be in reach?

As my friend Matt Fitzgerald said to me once (and by this I mean, what I read in his book): "If it does nothing else, a runner's training must make him feel prepared, because if he feels prepared, he is prepared, and if he doesn't, he isn't."

So it's time to think about what I need to do in the next four weeks to make myself feel prepared - and then do that.

Further adventures in Vibrams

2011-07-29T10:35:00.002+01:00

Frustrated at my minorly injured leg and worried that sub-4 glory was slipping away, last night I decided to throw the last remaining weapon in my arsenal at said leg. Yes I've had a sports massage, yes I've iced it and RICE'd it and rubbed ibuprofen and foam rollers on it and, while these help a bit, they haven't cured it. Truth be told I've been hoping that all of these would act like some magic wand fixing it like brand new. That hasn't happened.

So I rummaged in my box of tricks and out came the Vibrams. 'That might work', I thought. I trotted off for a 3-mile run but something wasn't right. Where before the Tarahumara within me had taken over and my feet slipped effortlessly into their preferred gait, instead I was clunky and lopsided and generally looked like a bit of an idiot. This shouldn't be. Instead of Zola Budd I was Jabba the Hut.

Grass - that will save me. Except in my little corner of SE1, grass (the sort you can run on anyway) is in short supply. I swung by the Tate Modern outside which is a 50m by 50m square of grass. This square of grass is usually full of school children, tourists and local office workers - perfect for doing 50m sprints on then. I found a clear strip and proceeded in running back and forth as fast as my gammy leg could manage.

Now I kow what you're going to say, and I would say the same if it wasn't me that had the problem. I've even screamed the same thing at internet forums and fellow bloggers when they've had similar injuries - the only thing that will fix the leg is rest. But let's just park that idea for a while should we because it ain't going to happen.

Back to the story, I did my 50m 'look at me' sprints in front of a curious audience and that was quite enough humiliation so I headed home. But I was shy by about half a mile. There's an even smaller piece of grass in the park by my flat - the one with the odd outdoors treadmill - so I ran around in circles. Luckily at the precise moment that a group of boys with a football started to wonder why there was a girl in socks running in small circles, a small dog started barking at an old man doing Tai Chi to distract them. Saved.

The results of the run - my leg didn't hurt after. Hooray the plan worked. But it does hurt again this morning. Rubbish! So I've thrown a different pair of shoes at it today - it can spend the day in heels and see how much it likes that. Then maybe it will appreciate being back in trainers tomorrow and stop being such a moaning little wimp.

Running manifesto

2011-07-27T15:37:00.001+01:00

The folks over at Run Dem Crew, who I've yet to make it out with on a Tuesday night yet (I will soon, promise), posted this creative task that they've set their 'youngsters'. It invites you to write your own running manifesto by finishing a few sentences. Here's mine:

Running is…a privilege.

Running is not…a chore.

I run…away from things and towards things.

I run for…myself, and nobody else.

I run because…I can and because one day I might not be able to.

I run when…I'm happy and when I'm sad.

I run with…a smile on my face albeit often with sweat and snot running down it too.

I have never run…and regretted it after.

I have always run…like a Kenyan in my head, in reality I run more like a squirrel.

I run in spite of…the voice in my head telling me not to.

I don’t run…if I don't feel like it - I saw who, I say when, I say how much.

I should run…faster if I keep at it.

I might run…today, or I might not - it's up to me.

I will run…a sub-4 marathon.

Now go write you own.

Treadmill or park?

2011-07-25T15:36:00.001+01:00

For most runners, hitting the treadmill very definitely falls into the category of 'Plan C'. When it comes to running, we'd all much rather the picture we have in our heads of running along an amazing stretch of coastline, along a mountain trail or through the countryside: that is Plan A. But as we live in reality, most of the time we settle for Plan B: a run round the block or a couple of laps of the local park (probably in the rain if you live in the UK).

When the weather doesn't play ball - like it isn't for some of you in the US right now (Hi New Yorkers), Plan C is put into action: hitting the treadmill in the gym. The trade-off for being in a climate-controlled environment and staying dry is that you basically have to run on the spot.

Why then, would someone put a treadmill in a park? The decision to exercise outside has been made, the battle of getting out the door and putting on the old trainers has been won, you've made it to the park - and yet you'd decide to run on the spot? Show me a person that would do this?

Clearly such people exist. Two, at least: one has designed exhibit A, the treadmill that sits in the park by my flat, and the other works for Southwark Council and decided it was a good idea to intall this. I'm all for exercise being free and taking away the cost of exercising, but the park is free, running is free we don't need a treadmill in the park. And instead of encouraging people to exercise more, I fear that attempting to run on these rollers would put people off the sport. I tried it and nearly fell on my arse.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding this. Maybe I'm being too narrow-minded in my view of treadmills - maybe treadmills deserve the park too. We might moan about having to use treadmills but should we not spare a thought for them? They have to endure hours of sweating runners pounding away on them, often while listening to bad dance music or watching 'Loose Women' on the TV. They never get to compete in races or feel the fresh air on their belt. They just get you, me, and that really sweaty guy dripping on them.

But this little treadmill had a dream. It didn't want to break a world record, or break a four-hour barrier - it dreamed of breaking out of the gym and seeing the park! And by some amazing feat of escapism (I'm thinking 'Shawshank Redemption' but with a treaddy) he did it. Let's celebrate him! But really - don't try running on it.

Marathon training: half way update

2011-07-20T16:45:00.003+01:00

Eight weeks ago my campaign for a sub-4 marathon began in Greece. It was a boozy week that included a bit of running - but I did hit my mileage targets despite it being hotter than the sun even at 7pm when I was heading out for my sessions.

Two months later the mileage has picked up but the boozing hasn't calmed down. I've taken solace in a fellow blogger over at Will Run For Beer who drinks more than me and runs a hell of a lot faster too - maybe beer is the key to sub-4 glory? And with Hash Runs a regular part of my running calendar at the moment, it doesn't look like I'll be on the wagon any time soon.

Last year, when I trained for Brighton Marathon I hardly drank for three months. I got drunk twice (once on my birthday and again for a friend's birthday) but other than that I was on a self-imposed drinking ban. To me then, this was important and if you think something's important it sort of IS important. But this time around, although my goal is specific in terms of time, I'm more relaxed about the training process and I know that a few drinks a couple of times a week won't really get in my way of putting in the miles at this stage.

What WILL get in the way is my leg which, at the moment feels like it's about to fall off. Two weeks ago I took a softball to the shin and since then a pain has been building in the shin and calf. At the start of Sunday's 15-miler I could hardly run, but I ran anyway and by about 5 miles the pain had eased off. Yesterday I hobbled around all day then bought some new trainers and compression socks. I toyed with not running and having another rest day, but that seemed like too sensible an idea. Plus I had new stash that needed taking out for a spin. So I popped some ibuprofen and went on the Hash Run.

I told my buddy that I was going to take it easy and hang back with him. But a mile in I got bored so sped off with the lead pack. My leg was moaning, but I wasn't. I was feeling speedy and nothing was going to stop me... until this morning when I hobbled out of bed again.

So tonight, instead of trying to run through the pain again, I'm off for a sports massage in the hope that it will sort me out. I'm testing out a new guy and I'm a bit nervous/excited about it. I've had a few sports massage people over the past couple of years but never found Mr Right. Could this be the one?

But enough about me. How's your training going?

Food diary learnings

2011-07-19T09:47:00.001+01:00

I love junk TV. It's been too long since I watched Gillian Mckeith making some morbidly obese person cry or Dr Christian introducing two people with polar opposite eating disorders to each other and making them swap diets. My favourite part of these types of show is when some minimum wage researcher is dispatched to the local Budgens to buy all the food that these people eat in a week and arrange it on a table or in a plastic tube. It always makes me wonder.

But wonder no more. As you've no doubt seen on yesterday's post - I decided to spend a week taking a photo of everything I ate and drank (except water) for a whole week and assemble the resulting JPEGs on my own virtual table.

What did I learn from keeping a photo food diary last week? Well, firstly that remembering to take a picture of everything you eat before you shuv it in your face is a right pain in the ass. There were a couple of occasions when it was easier to not eat a biscuit than to get my phone out to take a picture of it first. Notably, in a meeting at work - I didn't want to be labelled the office loon for taking a photo of a custard cream.

You may recall I went to a VIP post-race reception last week (that's the two bottles of Peroni and the glass of Pimms). I weighed up the effort vs return of having to take a picture of every canapé before I ate it - but luckily for me they were serving the best types of canapés: a bowl of chicken curry with a spoon and nann bread. Result. So I only had to sneak off to the corner for a discreet picture twice.

But also I learnt:
1) I ate out a lot last week.
2) I drink a lot of tea.
3) I ate Thai fishcakes twice without noticing.
4) I don't snack much.
5) I've been lying to most medical professionals when they ask me how many units of alcohol I drink a week.
6) I don't eat much fruit.

Obviously all Earth-shattering discoveries. But I did buy some grapes this morning as a result.

A marathoner's diet

2011-07-18T11:38:00.008+01:00

Last week I took a photo of everything I ate and drank (except water). Here' the results...

Here's what I learnt from this experiment.
Or you can view the food in all its hi-res glory here on Flickr.

Running VIP

2011-07-15T10:13:00.003+01:00

It was only a matter of time before my VIP status within the running community was recognised and rewarded. The reward for being a running VIP it seems is free drinks and food - I'm all kinds of down with that. Who isn't? If you'd like to become a fabulous running VIP like me, here's how you do it...

1) Run. Goes without saying really. We're not talking breaking records or anything - that sounds far too much hard work. And judging by the shape and number of people in the VIP section last night, you don't even have to run that far or that often. But run a bit so you can say with conviction "Yeah, I run."

2) Give something back. Last night I'd gone to cheer a friend in the Great City Race, a 5K through London. I'd decided not to take part because my training plan called for 7 miles. But it being close to my office and for lack of better plans (oh yeah and being a great friend) I went to cheer him on. That's true altruism. And karma loves a giver, so go and clap someone.

3) Look the part. If you're going to go to the post-race VIP hospitality event for a race that you haven't taken part in, it helps if you look like you have. I'd run 7 miles before my spectating duties commenced so was smelling and looking like a runner. However, don't say things like "5K? I've run double that just to get here." You need to reign that in - you're important now. You have nothing to prove. Now help yourself to the free drinks.

4) Have important friends. I'd caught up with my friend at the finish and his team were being given their VIP hospitality wristbands. Handily they had one for me too. They were apparently properly 'important'. But they were happy to take me along for the ride - canapes and all.

Stick with me, we're going VIP!

The countdown has begun

2011-07-12T13:25:00.004+01:00

This is a text conversations between me and my buddy Mr NiceGuy who is also doing the Robin Hood Marathon in September. It's his first marathon:

Believe

2011-07-11T13:37:00.000+01:00

Eddie Izzard and Matt Fitzgerald share a philosophy: you have to believe you can do something before you can do it. Last night I watched 'Believe: The Eddie Izzard Story' again just to hear Eddie tell me the following:

You’ve got to believe you can be a standup before you can be a standup. You have to believe you can act before you can act. You have to believe you can be an astronaut before you can be an astronaut. You’ve got to believe.
-Eddie Izzard

In his book 'Run: the mind-body method of running by feel' Fitzgerald discusses how confidence in your own abilities is key to success as a runner. He says:

If it does nothing else, a runner's training must make him feel prepared, because if he feels prepared, he is prepared, and if he doesn't, he isn't.

He cites examples of coaches inspiring belief in athletes that they can win a race, set a new record, be the best - and them, in turn, going out and doing just that. These beliefs are founded on experience and your understanding of what you can do and what you've still got to give.

When I told coaches and other runners at my running club that I was aiming to take 31 minutes off my marathon time this year, none of them said 'You'll never do that'. That was lucky for them as I'd have kicked them in the shin and run away to cry if they had. What they did do, however, was raise their eyebrows and say 'That's a big improvement' or similar.

It is a big ask, but I believe I can do it. And this belief, critically, comes from a knowledge of my own ability, a feel for how my body responds to training and a gut intuition that nobody else can feel. Of course, come September I may have been struck down by an illness or we could have freak weather. But that aside, I will be able to run a sub-4 marathon.

I'll have done the training, seen the results (like the one yesterday where I ran 15 miles at my previous half-marathon pace beating my 13.1 mile time in the process) and I WILL be prepared. And what's more, I'll FEEL prepared.

Team America

2011-07-05T22:38:00.001+01:00

Blogger stats tells me that more that around half my readers are in the US. Hello to both of you. And also a belated happy 4th July.

Tonight, in honour of your nation severing its ties with our motherland, I drank some beer. Yes, it was a day late, but check it out. Now I could have drunk London Pride at the end of my Hash Run (which incidentally took me past the new statue of Ronald Regan that someone decided to put up without asking me). But I didn't. I drank this and I did it for you guys. You're welcome.

By the way, if you haven't Googled Hash Runs by now, you totally should.

Marathon anxiety dreams

2011-07-05T11:28:00.000+01:00

I've never had trouble sleeping. I've put in some valuable training over the years to perfect my ability to sleep soundly for a good eight hours most nights. Of course, this hasn't always been easy, but I've persevered and now I'm pretty good at it - in fact I'd say I'm in the elite category when it comes to sleep. I've even managed power naps in nightclubs in Amsterdam and Ireland. That's just how I roll.

But now the marathon is threatening my beloved 40 winks. The marathon anxiety dreams have started. Last night's dream, I'm certain, was induced by an inspection of my training plan that revealed that with 10 weeks to go, I'm not hitting the mileage that I need to be. I'm smashing the long runs, but the 3-4 runs during the week aren't always going to plan. Time to up my game.

My dream went like this: I was at the start of the New York marathon (presumably because I keep telling people that Nottingham is the New York of the Midlands), however the course is very much Brighton Marathon. So I start running and I'm going too fast and I know I should slow down, but I'm feeling OK.

Then I reach for a gel, but I don't have any with me. So I panic that I'm not going to be able to make it and I'm going to hit the wall. I ring my mum (because clearly a phone was more essential to pack than gels) but she's not there. So I ring my sister and try to explain to her where to find my gels. I get off the phone but I don't know where I'm going to meet up with them. And then I wake up.

It doesn't take Frasier Crane to decipher that my subconscious brain is worried my target of sub-4 might have been over-ambitious and that, with my support crew one very important man down, realising I need to be self-sufficient in the race (and worried I can't do it on my own). But my subconscious brain can do one. Come Sunday 11 September, I'll be lining up at the start in the correct city and I'll be prepared. Bring it on.

Long runs start here

2011-07-04T11:45:00.000+01:00

Sunday the schedule called for a 14-miler and so the long runs of this marathon season have begun. I don't really count anything below a half marathon as a long run - not because they're easy but because it would mean having to rename the 18 and 20-milers I'll be doing in a few weeks as 'epic' runs or something even more intimidating.

So this Sunday I decided to head east along the Thames with the vague idea of going to Greenwich and then seeing how many miles I needed to find once I was there. But it was hot and I didn't really know where I was going.

I noticed this sign on an old building close to Borough Market as I set off and it was as if it had been left there for me. So hydration backpack strapped to my back I did just that and headed off down the Thames Path.

The Thames Path was a bit like an adventure trail, every now and then it would deviate away from the river and I'd have to look around for signs (or other runners) to follow to get back on track.

By the time I saw the sign stating 'Greenwich 1 mile' I was in the middle of some housing estate and it was very much a welcome sight. But I was only at 8 miles by the time I hit Greenwich.

Someone had written on the path in chalk 'Stop running'. I chose to see this particular sign as being written by a grumpy local annoyed with the sporty antics of runners tearing along the narrow path and not being intended specifically for me. So I carried on.

The path continued past the Millenium Dome (the O2 if you're under 25) and on to the Thames Barrier. Here's a picture. But I was still 2 miles short so I headed towards Woolwich in the hope that there's be something for me to eat. Hooray for Pizza Hut and appologies to my fellow diners - the sight of me was neither pretty nor did I smell good. Most things taste good after 14 miles of drinking warm tap water through a tube - pizza, however, tastes amazing!

One for the girls

2011-07-01T09:59:00.000+01:00

Yesterday my waxing woman told me I'm her best customer. Not because I leave her the biggest tip (although I do think it's a wise move to tip people who can weild such power over you when you're at your most vulnerable) and not, I should add, because of any resemblence to sasquatch that makes me a regular.

No, the reason she likes me is because I'm 'so brave'. I lie back, stare at the ceiling and don't flinch or make a sound - yes we're still talking about waxing. I explained to her that I didn't understand why people would put themselves through something that got them so worked up and made them suffer so much that they made a lot of fuss. It's really not worth it - just reach for the razor.

Yes waxing hurts, I'm not imune to that sort of pain, but in my mind I've made the decision to go through that before I walk in the door - so just suck it up and get it over with. As the old running mantra goes 'Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional'.

I think you can tell where I'm going with this story. Most things make me think about marathon running, but waxing is a pretty good litmus test for the marathon. Yes it's going to hurt - that's without question. But whether or not you stare at the ceiling and go to your happy place or whether you suffer and quit on a job half done is very much in your hands.

Come back winter, all is forgiven

2011-06-27T13:04:00.000+01:00

"Train for a autumn marathon, it'll be much easier than training for a spring marathon. You'll have longer days, warmer weather, less rain. It'll be a doddle compared to the winter London froze over." What idiot said this? Oh yeah, that's right - it was me.

I'm an idiot. Actually, scrap that - the person that schedules marathons is an idiot. The choice is between freezing your bajangos off all winter only to get to the start of your spring race and find it's not a day for running 26.2 miles but a day for slapping on the sunscream, sucking on an ice-lolly and moving as little as possible. OR, sweating so much throught the summer as you try to run from one patch of shade to the next that people mistake you for Aquaman (see pic), then getting to your autumn race and finding it's chucking it down. Both scenarios are stupid.

I think the expression on my face here says it all. If you hadn't guessed it, I'm over training in the heat now. 12 miles through central London (yes, that's Buckingham Palace) in the blazing heat - despite setting off at 9am - were enough to confirm that I'm not built for summer and I'm not built for getting up at 8am on a Sunday. But it's time to stop being a whiney little wuss, suck it up and do it anyway. That sub-4 marathon won't run itself.

90 minutes, no excuses

2011-06-26T22:46:00.000+01:00

"I didn't have time." "I had too much on." "Something came up." We're all familiar with these excuses and I'm sure we've reached for more than one of them when justifying not running. But what if someone were to make the day longer. Well, someone has just bloody well gone and done that. My day is now 90 minutes longer leaving me bereft of excuses.

This weekend I moved flat and stopped being a hobo - though I haven't stopped smelling like a hobo yet. I now live a whole lot closer to work which will save me a total of 90 minutes every weekday. My commute will now take between 5-10 minutes - that's dependent on whether I stop at the shop or get distraced by a cute cat.

In 90 minutes I can pretty comfortably run 10 miles. I did it the other day and thought myself pretty badass. So, in theory, I could run 10 miles every day and still do all the things that I'd do if I didn't run but lived in my old flat. But that's not going to happen. I know exactly what's going to happen.

I really only have 45 minutes extra in my day. The time saved in the morning is going to quickly be absorbed by getting up later. And this will swiftly be justified as being vital to the cause of the sub-4 marathon. As we all know, the tripple threat to marathon training and potential injury is dehydration, bad nutrition and lack of sleep. So just to be on the safe side I'll be adding another 45 minutes to my shut-eye quota.

So in 45 minutes I can run 5 miles. A decent midweek distance for most. But lots of other things are 45 minutes long too. Like an episode of The Sopranos - the boxset of which is begging me to give it some attention. And besides, at 5pm it's far too hot to go for a run - I should probably wait a couple of hours until it cools down a bit and there's less people to get in my way.

So there you have it - a whole host of new excuses. I just had to try a little harder to look for them.

Hash runs

2011-06-22T13:24:00.003+01:00

Never heard of hash running? Well it’s sort of like Fight Club but with running instead of fighting and with some downing of pints thrown into the mix. Last night Mr Niceguy (more Ed Norton than Brad Pitt for purposes of this metaphor) dragged me along to my first ever hash run.

We ran around the streets of North London following chalk markings that had been put there earlier in the day by the ‘hare’. Sometimes these were easy to spot and at others a bit of searching (running round in circles) was needed. The run started and ended at a local pub where, as a hash virgin, my trainers were blessed with beer before we set off and I was challenged to down a beer in one on my return (see pic).

It was a fun way to run 4 hilly miles and, while both are very friendly bunches of people, it was very different to how it feels to run with the running club. And not just because there was almost mandatory beer at the end. To harp on about ‘Born to Run’ again – I’d say has running is pretty similar to what the Tarahumara tribe do: drink beer, make running a game, have fun.

Hashing is a global thing, so wherever you are in the world there's potentially one on your doorstep. Check it out. I’ll definitely be going hashing again. Hopefully next time, Brad Pitt will be there too!

Juneathon Day - oh what's the point any more...
Sorry Juneathoners. You all rock.

Running hobo style

2011-06-17T09:27:00.000+01:00

Most of the time I smell like a hobo when I'm running. For the past two weeks though, I've actually been of 'no fixed abode' which has had an impact on my running. Don't worry, I'm not sleeping rough - some kind-hearted friends have opened up their homes to me and my smelly running shoes. They've given me shelter and not commented on the funky smell that's coming from the bag in the hall that contains my kit.

I should explain before you start trying to donate to my buy me a sleeping bag. This is all my own fault and not down to economic reasons. When the lease on my flat came to an end and I decided to move somewhere new, instead of doing what most normal people would do and go look at some flats, I went to Greece. And it's pretty hard to find a new flat in London when you're 1,000 miles away.

Instead of clocking up the miles training, my evenings are now full of flat viewings. And when I turn up at a friend's place at 9pm, as well as being the last thing I want to do, it's also a bit rude to then head off out for a 7-mile run.

This weekend will be 12 weeks out from Robin Hood Marathon. That's plenty of time to get myslef into sub-4 shape right? By next weekend I should be a hobo no more. Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.

Now I remember

2011-06-14T09:39:00.001+01:00

I don't have a child, so I've never given birth but this week I feel like I know a little more about being a mother. As I was describing how my marathon training is going to a colleague the other day, she said: "Ah, that must be what it's like when you have a baby." You see, I'd forgotten that training for a marathon is actually quite hard.

I know that running 26.2 miles round Nottingham in September will be hard. That fact hasn't escaped me. But I'd forgotten about the training bit being probably harder than the day itself. All those memories of solo 18 milers have been magically rose-tinted in my mind. I imagined that training would be one long romp across London a couple of nights a week, only this time it would be sunny rather than -10 degree.

In the same way that Mother Nature wipes the true horror of childbirth from women's minds to trick them into going through it all again, my mind has been cleansed of the reality of marathon training. I'm on week 4 now and my legs are starting to remember. Back-to-back runs are tiring, and it's going to get worse before it gets better. But it's too late now: the race is entered, the hotel is booked and this baby has to come out one way or another. And there's no epidural for marathoning.

Juneathon days 11,12,13,14
Yes, I've been rubbish at the blogging bit - but in fairness I am homeless at the moment. I did however run 3 miles, 9 miles and then do core exercises on these days respectively. Today, 4 miles down the Thames at lunchtime. It was hot!

Saying no

2011-06-08T20:43:00.001+01:00

My desk. 5pm.
Colleague: Fancy a quick pint?
Me: Ummmmm.....

This morning I got up at 6 and trekked across London for an appointment. I didn't get to work until 10.30 so felt too bad to do anything more than eat a bagel at my desk.

The afternoon was busy but my training plan stared up at me from my desk distracting me. "shush training plan. I haven't forgotten you."

The plan was a quick 5 miles down the Thames before showering back at the office then trekking across London for a flat viewing then back to the other side of the city to meet a friend who is putting me up tonight. It would be a long day.

Colleague: Just a quick one?
Me: I really want to... But I have to go for a run.

Turns out there aren't many pubs on the road to sub-4 hour marathon domination.

Juneathon Day 8
5 miles. One flat viewing. One sulk. It's now 8.42pm and I'm off to the pub.

1,350 mile journey and a 3-mile race to the loo

2011-06-06T15:43:00.000+01:00

Last Tuesday I had a 3-mile race just two miles from my front door. How convienient! Except I was in Greece still. There's a huge business around doing races in foreign counties and you could spend thousands of pounds doing the Great Wall of China marathon, the Everest marathon and such likes. But I think I may be the first person in the history of running to have travelled 1,350 miles to do a 3-mile race that started on their doorstep.

At 4pm I landed at Gatwick and, not having any luggage to pick up, sprinted through most of the arrivals hall. There didn't seem to be anyone around and within half an hour of landing I was on a train, and by 5.30 I was home. This was a PB for this distance and a good omen, I thought, for my race later on.

Cut to 7.15 and I was lining up at the start of a 3-mile handicap. If you've never done one of these races before it sounds more complicated than it is. Everyone gets given a 'handicap' so the slowest runners start first and the fastest go off last with everyone else staggered in between according to speed. The idea is that everyone should finish at around the same time and you should aim to catch those in front of you. It sounded confusing but all I had to do was listen for my name and then run when I was told to.

I'd forgotten to charge my Garmin so I had no idea how I was doing but, as I'd set off with people that had done a similar time to me I knew I just had to stick with them and try to overtake some of the people in front. I finished in an unofficial 22.15 - 30 seconds better than last time. I say unofficial because this is an estimate based on two people that started with me and finished slightly before and after me and had remembered their watches.

After the race I felt ill. Nothing new here then. I ran the two miles home and put some chips in the oven. But I was off my chips. This was worrying. By 10pm I was sick, sick, sick. We're talking The Exorcist. For the next 24 hours I was ill. Back and forth to the bathroom I trapsed and at one point I slept on the bathroom floor, sweating and shivering.

But in the depths of my illness when I wanted the ground to swallow me up and end it, there was just one glimmer of hope. One lone, positive thought went through my mind: "If I'm this ill, I wonder what time I would have done if I was well." Only a runner could think that.

Juneathon Day 6
1 lame mile run

The beginnings of a marathon

2011-06-05T19:17:00.001+01:00

Greece. Home of Ouzo, Feta, fried cheese and running. I'm happy to report that all but one of those things featured in my recent 9 day trip to Kefalonia - and it was the Ouzo that I passed on. Mythos was my drink of choice.

The marathon, as we all know, began in Greece. So where better to start my marathon training and campaign for sub-4 stardom than the country that gave it to the world? Well quite a few places really. For one it was really hot, and sunny, and hot. It's fair to say the conditions were sub-optimal for running.

One one evening I ran at 7pm and it was still scorchio. The sun burned down and the heat from the road came up at me. 5 miles including a sizeable hill felt like a slog. There was no shade and no breeze. But there were amazing sea views.

The Greek people I saw on my runs gave me a smile and a wave. They invented (marathon) running after all. Back home in the UK it's a relief to see an overcast sky and reassuring to know that there isn't a massive hill round every corner.

Juneathon Day 5
8 miles round a rainy Wimbledon Common.

Super cycling

2011-06-03T11:42:00.000+01:00

When plans were announced years ago for a cycle superhighway through London, first I did an excited little yelp and then I imagined an express lane for bikes through the skies of the capital. It seemed so far in the future that these plans would actually materialise that I wondered whether we'd all be pedalling hoverbikes through the sky by then anyway and the cycle to work would resemble something out of 'The Jetsons'.

The Cycle Superhighways have been open for about a year now and today I wheeled my trusty steed out of the garage once more to negotiate the velo express to work. 9.5 miles from South Wimbledon to Blackfriars Bridge on two wheels (unfortunately no hovering as yet - damn you Tomorrow's World).

Back in the old days when I cycled the Uxbridge Road from Ealing to Oxford Circus and had to negotiate the massive roundabout at White City (these were the days before Westfield) all we had was a bit of green paint to keep us cyclists safe from certain death. Green paint! Bah! What use is that? People would park on it, pedestrians would stand on it, vans would pull over in it. Green pain was rubbish.

Now, in 2011 we have digital technology at our fingertips. Everything is bigger and smaller than ever before. You can read a book on a postage stamp and then book a holiday on your wristwatch. And, yeah, we also have BLUE PAINT! Take that motorists!

It may just be a bit of blue paint and look more 'Wizard of Oz' than 'Back to the Future', but it works pretty well. I suspect that this is because there is actually, embedded in the blue paint, a forcefield so strong it can repel a juggernaught. Either this or its been so long since most Londoners last saw trees and grass that they've lost the ability to see the colour green. Swap it to blue and hey presto - safer cycling for everything. Or maybe it's because I'm a South Londoner. Answers on a postcard.

Juneathon Day 3
9.5 miles of super cycling into work

Doughnut try this at home

2011-06-02T22:29:00.001+01:00

After 24 hours of nil by mouth I munched my way through a fair few Krispy Kremes. This was more than sufficient fueling for pathetic 2 miles on the bike.

Repeat after me everyone: "this is not the way that sub-4 marathons are built". Well tomorrow is, as they say, another day on the schedule.

Juneathon 2011

2011-06-02T12:29:00.002+01:00

Core strenght and the pub

2011-05-19T11:25:00.002+01:00

Oh yes, I must do my core strength exercises. I'll do them after I've eaten this sandwich. Ah, core strength time. I'll do the plank and some crunches after EastEnders has finished. It that the time already? Oh, I'll just do it for twice as long tomorrow. This is how it usually goes in my house.

Yesterday I was reminded of the importance of doing core strength work. Was it because I caught my reflection in a shop window as I ran past and thought "Wow, good posture. Good form. Nice upright position. Go me."? No. No it wasn't.

You see, it seems that the rest of the world has caught up with what runners have known for a long time. You've got to work your core muscles and there's no better way to do this than with the plank. It's even become a sport in itself: 'Planking'. It's about doing the plank in random places.

I like to think this was started by someone, like myself, who had forgotten to do their core exercises. Instead of putting it off to the next day they just laid down wherever they were when they remembered and did it there and then. That's dedication. Unfortunately somone died planking this week, so be careful where you do your core strength people. It's important to have a strong core, but it's not worth dying for.

So back to the story behind the picture. This is me, in the pub, last night. My plank was impressive. The form was great and I held it for quite a while. And that's all because I'm a runner and runners are hardcore. So next time you're in the middle of the supermarket and you remember that you haven't done your core strength workout for the day, just lay down in the middle of the aisle like a toddler who isn't being allowed the breakfast cereal they want, and do the plank right there. It's totally acceptable these days. Like the guys having a quiet drink in the background, nobody will bat an eyelid.